Shunning the Limelight
by Gemmi92
Summary: Before he was Saul Goodman, he was Jimmy McGill. He spent most of his nights in a dive bar, drinking away his problems. But he wasn't alone. He had the local crime reporter for the Journal with him who was just as desperate to drink away her problems. They made quite the pair before he hit the big time. Jimmy/OC Pre Better Call Saul
1. Chapter 1

She'd had a crap day. Nothing had happened. Well, nothing of interest. She'd sat at the back of courtroom number one, legs folded over each other as she closed her eyes. Her notebook was resting in her lap while her fingers twirled her pen, moving it between three fingers. She had done her best to remain intrigued in the case she was supposed to be covering for the Journal, but there was nothing in court that day. Well, nothing except for a few drunk and disorderly charges followed by petty theft.

There was nothing that would make front-page news. She stood up after a few moments and then moved, her dress clinging to her thighs in the heat as she left the courtroom, not bothering to stick around to listen to the prosecution give evidence. Lifting her bag further onto her shoulder, she wandered down the corridor, her heels clicking on the floor.

Coming to the end, she looked up, her eyes going to the case list for the day. There was nothing that would be any good. Closing her eyes again, her hands went to her hair before she felt a familiar presence besides her. He was dressed in his usual ill-fitted suit, his hair floppy on top of his head as his battered briefcase swung by his side.

"Nothing of interest, huh?" he asked from her.

"You'd know," she responded. "So, what is it today?"

"You know how it is," he told her with a shrug. "A young guy finds out his girlfriend's been cheating and the next thing he's in a fight in the middle of a dive bar. It's loves young dream, really it is."

"Oh yeah," she scoffed back, hands going to her hip as she felt a bead of sweat drop down her forehead, wondering what was going on with the air conditioning in the courthouse. Clearly there was none today. "I mean, if only my marriage had ended up like that. It would have been the dream."

"As opposed to divorce?" he wondered from her. "Nah, stick with divorce. There's no broken nose in that."

"Sometimes there is," she responded. "Anyway, tell me more about the case. I might come and watch. The Lord knows there's nothing else going on around here. It's boring me to tears."

"What?" he asked, mock shock on his face as he took a look at the cases on the paper in front of them, pinned on the notice board. "You mean to tell me that a stolen garden gnome isn't going to make the headlines?"

She did laugh then, his sarcasm enough to bring a smile onto her lips. She looked over to him as he shot her another look and let himself cough once, moving his fist to cover his mouth.

"Not unless the gnome was sat on a hidden bunker full of a million dollars," she responded to him and he did laugh then, the sound shrill and deep as he nodded his head, brows rising up and onto his forehead.

"That would be a turn around," he told her. "Anyway, I'm on in half an hour."

"Just enough time for me to run across the road and grab a coffee before the case…that's if you can interest me to turn up," she challenged him and he moved to let his back rest against the wall as she took a couple of steps to move in front of him.

"So anyway," he began, hands flailing around as he spoke to her, "this guy goes into a bar-"

"-Sounds like the start of one of your shit jokes," she interrupted him and he looked at her deadpan.

"My jokes are not shit," he responded to her and she arched a brow on her forehead, hands on her hips as he shrugged his shoulders, caving under her stare. "Okay, maybe some of them could do with some finesse."

"Some," she echoed with sarcasm and he sent her an insincere glare.

"Are you interested in what I have to tell you or not?" he asked and she moved her hand in front of her, keeping quiet and allowing him to continue. "Anyway, Brown walks into this bar and sees this guy with his hands all over his girlfriend. I'm not just talking a peck on the cheek, I'm talking full on hanky panky in the corner of the bar-"

"-Get it," Clara interrupted once more, holding a hand up and pleading with him not to divulge the details.

"So really, they should be the ones being charged for public indecency," he said to her. "Anyway, Brown goes over to the guy, pulls him off of his girlfriend and…their might have been a few racist slurs…but he starts to punch this guy. No one in the bar saw the other guys…Hector…yeah…no one saw him even punch Johnny Brown."

"So he didn't retaliate?" she asked from him. "Seems like a clear cut case."

"You'd think that," he nodded at her. "So how did Johnny end up with a broken nose?"

Looking intrigued, she folded her arms over her chest. "He tripped?"

"Classic," he chuckled.

"So what is he claiming happened?" Clara enquired. "If no one saw anything then what's your defence?"

"Hector owns the bar where the brawl started," he said to her, bending one leg and letting his foot rest against the wall. "So why would anyone go against him? Everyone in there was his friend. Everyone in that bar was associated with him. You know what that means?"

"I'm not a lawyer, but I can piece two and two together," she informed him and he chuckled at her response. "So no one was willing to testify against him?"

"Bingo," he clicked his fingers in her direction. "So, what d'you think? Got a chance of making at least the third page. Page thirty four is no place for this face," he motioned to himself and she scoffed at hearing him.

"You'll be lucky if we manage to get thirty four pages filled to print," she told him. "You know, an old woman called the office this morning and asked if she could put a full page ad in tomorrow's paper for her charity event? We had to say yes because we had nothing to fill it with."

"Dire times for journalism," he mused.

"Yeah," she agreed. "But anyway, without any witnesses…I reckon your chances of getting him off are slim. What's the DA arguing for?"

"Nine months," he told her.

She snorted loudly. "Good luck getting that down."

"Have you not seen me do my thing?" he asked from her. "Think Atticus Finch, but a whole lot more enthusiastic and good looking."

She let her lips quirk despite herself at hearing him, hand holding tightly onto the strap of her bag on her shoulder. "Well, you've piqued my interest," she shrugged. "Besides, it's either this or head back to the office with nothing. So you had better make it worth my time."

"Oh, don't worry," he offered her a wink. "I always do, don't I?"

She saw him saunter off down the corridor and towards courtroom number three. She watched him go before checking the time from the clock on the wall. She still had time to grab a coffee. She suspected she might need the caffeine fix if she was to endure Jimmy McGill in court.

…

He was impressive; there was no denying that. She had paid attention to every motion he made, his movements animated and his arguments loud and demanding as the judge almost looked bored to tears. She had remained sat on the bench in the back, scribbling down notes in shorthand before the judge ruled and the DA almost looked shocked.

Three months. He had managed to get nine months down to three months. No doubt with good behaviour he would be out in just over a month. She had done her best not to look too impressed as he left the courtroom and saw her back in the corridor, holding her cell to her ear as she called the office and told them of the events in the courthouse.

"Impressive, huh?" he asked from her and she rolled her eyes at him as he held his hands out by his sides, a look of smugness on his face. "And you doubted me."

"I doubt everyone," she informed him. "So what you having tonight?"

"Gin," he mused. "I think it's your turn to get them in too."

"You're just made $700 for one case," she argued as he went to check on the case list, seeing which courtroom he was in for the Morrows v Holly.

"And I'm about to make $700 for another," he told her, "but you're still buying. I'll see you in a couple of hours."

Giving her one wave goodbye, she watched him go before heading out of the courthouse and back to the office to write up her days notes, knowing that it would only be two hours before she had a glass of wine in her hands once more.

…

"Lawyer extraordinaire, Jimmy McGill, managed to reduce a defendant's sentence dramatically from nine months down to three months. Speaking after the case, Mr. McGill said: "I was just doing what any decent lawyer would do. Helping to keep our prisons free from crooks and our streets full of them.""

He laughed at hearing her as she placed down the notebook she always carried with her. Picking up her glass of wine, she sipped on it, laughing into it at the sight of his face scrunched up in amusement. Putting the wine glass down on the napkin on the bar, she watched him sip on his gin.

"You ever considered a career in stand-up?" he asked from her and she shrugged her shoulders as he pulled at his tie, loosening it down his white shirt.

"Oh yeah," she said with sarcasm, "but the pay is nowhere near as good as that of a crime reporter for a local newspaper."

"Shocking," he played along.

"I know," she said. "So go on, how is business? Picked up any new clients yet?"

Sighing, he let out a deep breath, the look of entertainment gone from his features as he shook his head back and forth. Shrugging out of his beige suit jacket, he let it fall onto the back of the stool he sat on. The bar they came to was dark and dingy, the alcohol cheap and the atmosphere practically non-existent. Most times they were the two causing the most noise. The pool table tended to sit unoccupied while the bartender either cleaned down the bar or washed glasses in the sink at the back of the bar.

"None," he answered her. "I keep trying, but you know how business is."

"Slow," she mused. "I think we both know that."

"Yeah," he agreed with a low snort. "So what? Made anymore redundancies recently?"

"Not in the past few months," she informed him. "Although I think I'd probably be next. I mean, why would they need two crime reporters? Besides, Bill has been there longer than I have."

"What?" he asked from her. "You're ancient. He must be a fossil."

Moving to hit him across the arm, she shook her head at him before picking her glass of white wine up once more. "Just because you like your girls fresh from college doesn't mean that I am ancient."

"Hey," he complained to her. "You make me sound like a predator."

Rolling her eyes at him, she let her lips remain quirked. Keeping her hand wrapped around her wine glass, her other hand tugged at the grey pencil dress she wore, her heels dangling from her toes as she folded one leg over the other. She did her best not to seem too bothered by the heat, but she had to admit that it did get to her.

"You know," he said, changing the conversation, "I heard that HHM might be hiring."

"Your old firm?" she asked from him. "The firm your brother still works at?"

"Same one," he nodded to her, "but I think they're after someone to work in the communications side of it. Apparently it's becoming big business."

"You hate HHM," she reminded him. "Why would you advertise for them?"

"I'm not," he responded, tugging on his tie once more and then sipping his gin, finishing it off and holding up his empty glass to the bartender, indicating that he wanted a refill. "I'm just telling you of potential job opportunities that might be coming up in case you end up struggling for work."

"I never knew you cared." She mused and he rolled his eyes at her sarcastic tone.

"Believe me, I don't," he told her, "but someone's got to look out for you journos. I like to think of myself as a good citizen."

She laughed again then as she ordered herself another refill once his had come. "I am sure you do, Jimmy," she said to him. "Anyway, I need to get going after this one. Busy day tomorrow, down at the police station seeing if anything interesting is happening and then moving onto the courthouse."

"Hey," he said, "if you ever get bored of it then you should think about becoming a lawyer."

She did laugh then, a full on hearty laugh as she heard him speak. He looked to her, wondering if what he had said had been that funny. As her laugh died down and people stopped staring at them, he leant closer to her, one arm going over the bar as his brows furrowed together and he wondered what had gotten to her.

"I know I'm funny, but I didn't think I was that funny," he informed her and she shook her head.

"I mean, me, a lawyer," she said to him. "Jimmy, you know I would never be able to do what you do…the confidence…"

"Thanks for the compliment," he said, sipping his drink again, "and I know I'm a genius, but you're not exactly a wallflower."

"Yeah," she agreed, "but I'm not a lawyer."

"Just a thought," he shrugged to her.

"And for once, not a very good one," she declared, holding onto her refilled wine glass.

They both ended up drinking and chatting for another twenty minutes before she finished her drink. Moving to slide down from the stool, she chucked her bag onto her shoulder, pulling her notebook from the surface and chucking it in before looking to Jimmy, her blue eyes wide as she tucked her brown hair behind her ears.

"Same time tomorrow?' she asked from him.

"Yeah," he said, climbing down from the stool and walking with her outside of the dive after tossing a twenty onto the bar and holding a hand up to bid the barkeep goodnight.

Coming to the fresh air, it was dark outside as they both wandered away down the sidewalk.

"Right, I'm going to walk home," she said to him, pointing in the opposite direction to where he was going as she looked to his car and pointed at it. "Don't you dare get in that thing. You've had more than the limit."

"Wouldn't dream of it," he said to her. "You going to be okay getting home?"

"Your concern is flattering, Mr. McGill, but I can handle myself. Besides, I'm only a couple of blocks away," she told him. "Give me a text when you get home. I'll see you in court, Jimmy."

Nodding, he watched her go for a moment. "See you tomorrow, Cecilia."

He waited until she had rounded the corner before pulling his car keys from his pocket and moving to his car. He could still walk in a straight line; he'd be fine to drive. Besides, he was a lawyer. If he got into any trouble then he could just talk himself out of it.

…

A/N: Do let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Cecilia Morris hated many things. She hated the Albuquerque heat. She hated the way the sun would shine so strongly that it would burn her pale skin if she spent more than an hour in it. She hated the way she would sweat profusely when she was coming to and from the newspaper office and the courthouse. She hated the fact that she had to make sure she had a spare shirt in her trunk in case she ended up perspiring through her deodorant.

She had only moved to Albuquerque because of her husband. Well, her ex-husband now. She had moved there because his mother had been ill and he had begged for them to leave New York and move back home. She had agreed. She wasn't a cold-hearted bitch. She knew what he was going through. Of course, she hadn't expected him to be sleeping with his childhood sweetheart while she went out to work and pay the bills for their apartment.

And now she was stuck in a small newspaper that was barely staying afloat. She was stuck reporting on boring crimes instead of crimes that made headlines and went worldwide. She doubted anyone cared about Bob Michaels's row with his neighbour that had led to the destruction of his letterbox.

"Please tell me you have something interesting."

Jimmy turned around as soon as he heard her speak. He had been looking at the order of cases on the wall, not noticing Cecilia sat behind him on the wooden bench. She wore a smart pencil skirt with a white shirt tucked into it, the sheer material just see through enough for him to notice the plain white bra she wore.

"I wish I could help you," Jimmy responded to her, moving to sit down next to her on the bench, reaching into his briefcase. "But I'm on an aggravated assault this morning and that's it. I'm trying to meet with some new prospective clients this afternoon."

"Anyone interesting?" Cecilia wondered, reaching into her satchel and pulling out a bottle of water.

Shrugging, Jimmy looked over the magnolia coloured case file he had been given, opening it and scanning it as he spoke. "Just a couple of local businesses in the area."

"Well, I hope it goes well," Cecilia said and Jimmy nodded, sighing lowly.

"So do I," he mumbled, knowing full well the extent of his dire finances. He looked over to her as he saw her fold one leg over the other, her lips pursed around the bottle of water as she drained it. "Anyway, what you doing tonight?"

"The same as usual," Cecilia said. "Usually I do that with you. Why? You bailing on me?"

"Wouldn't dream of it," he said, his confident tone back as he shut his folder, suddenly losing his interest in it before placing it back into his briefcase. "I'm meeting one of the clients next to a Mexican restaurant. Wondered if you fancied a bite to eat before we go and drown our sorrows?"

Arching an amused brow, Cecilia let her lips tug upwards. "Careful, McGill," she warned him. "Someone might think you were asking me out on a date."

Jimmy scoffed, moving to his feet with his briefcase dangling by his side as he spoke once more to her. "They clearly don't know how you drink like a fish. Dating you would bankrupt me and I'm poor enough as it is."

"Such a charmer," Cecilia said, tone sarcastic as she also stood up and looked to him. "But that sounds good to me. Send me the details and I'll be there for just after five. That okay?"

"I'll wait for you before I order," he joked, walking backwards and away from her as she rolled her eyes and he pointed in her direction. "But don't stand me up or I'll be forced to call that hot young model I met last week."

"What? In you dreams?" she teased him back and watched him turn around, the smirk still on his face as he went, leaving her alone and smiling to herself before heading into a courtroom. Perhaps she could try to salvage something from the day.

…

The Mexican restaurant was classier than Cecilia had been expecting. Pushing the door to the restaurant open at just gone ten past five, she spotted Jimmy in his beige suit instantly. Letting the door shut as a waiter came over, she motioned to Jimmy and told him that she was with that guy.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey," Jimmy responded back, but the expression on his face was enough to tell her that he was forlorn. Clearly he didn't have the reception he had hoped for from the potential clients.

Moving to pick up the bottle of wine that sat in the middle of the table, Jimmy poured out two glasses, sliding one over to Cecilia as she offered him a small smile.

"How did it go?" she wondered, not wanting to be openly pessimistic in front of him.

Shrugging, he looked off to the side. "Like the forty meetings before it."

"That bad, huh?" she mumbled, sipping on her wine while Jimmy let out a low chuckle, not bothering to respond to her as she remained mute, letting out a weary sigh after a few moments. "Have you thought about trying to join a firm?"

"No chance," Jimmy said with a firm shake of his head. "Besides, the only firm around here is HHM and you know what I think of them. I don't want to go begging Chuck for a hand-out and make him think I can't cope."

Cecilia sent him an even stare. "You're living in your office," she reasoned with him and he rolled his eyes at her. "Come on, Jimmy."

"And I can manage on my own," Jimmy retorted. "Besides, weren't we supposed to be eating a civilised meal or did you come here to start a fight? Because, you know as much as I love your dry wit and logical reasoning, I could do without it tonight."

Holding her hands up in defence, she leaned back in her chair, her gaze still set on Jimmy. It took a moment before she folded one leg over the other underneath the table, hands resting on the surface as she completed the motion.

"Fine," she gave up. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"Anything but work," Jimmy mumbled, drinking his wine slowly.

"Alright," Cecilia said, scanning her mind for something to say.

But she went blank as soon as she saw them over Jimmy's shoulder. Her eyes widened as Jimmy noticed her cheeks puff out, a shaky breath escaping her as she exhaled loudly. Furrowing his brow, Jimmy turned his head over his shoulder to see what had gotten her so worked up. It wasn't difficult to find out as soon as he had seen it.

"Ah," he said, looking back to her.

"Can we go?" Cecilia wondered, unable to look away and not believe that they hadn't seen her.

"Cecilia, he-"

"-Please," Cecilia interrupted Jimmy, her eyes moving to meet his as he saw the tears begin to form there and he nodded, pulling a twenty from his wallet and tossing it on the table for the wine before leaving.

He followed her out of the restaurant before seeing her come to her car. Her hands went to rest on the roof of it, her head bowed as her hair fell into her face. Jimmy stood back for a moment, not entirely sure what he should do in the situation. He did the only thing he could think of, stepping over to her to rest a hand on her back.

"You okay?" Jimmy enquired and she let out a low chuckle, shaking her head back and forth at Jimmy.

"No," she answered him honestly.

Jimmy wracked his brain for something to help then. Finally he came up with the only thing he could think of. Moving into his pocket, he tugged out the keys to his office and handed them to Cecilia.

"Go back to the office and wait there," he said to her. "I'll be right behind you."

"What are you doing?" Cecilia asked as she saw him move back towards the restaurant.

"Do you think I'm letting your asshole ex-husband stop me from getting a burrito?" he asked and he saw her lips rise as he sent her a small smile and then went back into the restaurant.

He went back to their table and grabbed the bottle of wine and the twenty that hadn't been collected before finding a waiter and asking for their meals to go. He stood by the doorway, his gaze occasionally shifting over towards the man and woman who had caused them to leave. They were immune to anyone else in the restaurant, both of them laughing and joking, an occasional touch of the hand and blush to the cheeks.

Jimmy almost felt nauseous. He looked out the window of the restaurant, noticing that Cecilia and her car had already gone. Turning back to look at the people inside, Jimmy rocked back and forth on his heels, letting out a low whistle before the food came. Grabbing hold of it, he paid with haste and moved to his battered yellow car, climbing into it and driving off, the smell of the food enough to make his stomach growl.

When he returned to the office/nail bar, he locked the door behind him and wandered to the backroom. Opening the door, he tossed the food onto his desk, seeing that Cecilia was sat on his sofa.

"Sorry," she said to him, standing up and peeling the bag of food open. "I know it's been over a year, but seeing him with her…both of them so happy…"

"I know," Jimmy responded, not bothering to tell her that it shouldn't affect her. He knew how it could be. It was difficult to see the one person you loved destroy your entire world.

"I mean, I moved to this god forsaken place for him," Cecilia continued, handing Jimmy a burrito before she found another one herself, tugging it out and peeling the foil wrapper down. "I left everything in New York to come here for him and he destroyed everything for her."

Jimmy chewed down on his food, sitting on his sofa as Cecilia took the other end of the sofa, perching down on the arm of the seat before leaning to the desk. Grabbing the bottle of wine, she downed some of the alcohol before putting it back.

"Do you not want to go back?" Jimmy asked her. "You could move back to New York?"

She shook her head. "I can't afford to now," she replied. "Rent is too expensive and most of my money went on keeping a place around here with Martin when he was unemployed and looking after his mom."

"And if you could afford to go back?"

"And get away from Martin and little miss housewife?" she asked of him. "Then, yeah, I'd move back. I hate both of them for what they did."

"Amen to that," Jimmy held up his burrito in solidarity as Cecilia let out a small laugh at the sight of him. "Anyway, did I tell you about Chuck and Rebecca?"

"You did not," Cecilia said, grateful for a change in conversation.

"Yeah," Jimmy said. "Well, they've been having some marital issues. I don't know the full details, but I think they're struggling. Anyway, Chuck called me earlier and asked for advice. Can you believe that?"

"Good for him," Cecilia said, tone dry. "If he came to you for advice then he must really want to break up his marriage."

"Hey," Jimmy protested to her, mouth full of food as she drained some more wine and handed him the bottle. "I'm not that bad at this relationship stuff."

Cecilia laughed hollowly again. "Jimmy, we both have failed marriages," she reminded him. "We're not the poster for happy couples."

"But they only failed because we were married to cheating partners," Jimmy told her.

"So we got real unlucky," Cecilia clarified before sighing. "But thank you…for this…you didn't have to."

"You kidding me?" Jimmy asked her back, a slim smirk on his face. "Nothing was stopping me from getting this glorious food."

They both chuckled again before Jimmy turned serious after gulping down some wine.

"But you're welcome," he said, tone genuine as Cecilia nodded once.

Both of them lapsed into a comfortable silence, eating the food and musing over the previous conversation. Perhaps both of them were just unlucky and had managed to find each other. That seemed plausible.


	3. Chapter 3

Cecilia didn't know how much she had drunk that evening. She had practically downed the bottle of wine Jimmy had returned from the restaurant with. But then he had pulled out a bottle of scotch and two tumblers and they had started to drink that. Cecilia remained sat at one end of the sofa, her legs pulled up to her chest while Jimmy sat the other end, his legs spread as he rested his hands holding his drink in between them.

Closing her eyes, Cecilia swore that she felt the room begin to spin as Jimmy turned his gaze onto her, his eyes sweeping over her facial features as she placed the glass to her lips and drank again. It took another couple of moments before Jimmy spoke, his voice low and gravelly as per usual.

"Martin was an idiot," he said and Cecilia opened her eyes, moving over to look to Jimmy as she sipped on the scotch once again. "To cheat on you was stupid."

"Maybe you could have a word with him and let him know," she jested with him, rolling her eyes for a moment as Jimmy shook his head.

"I'm serious," he said and Cecilia realised it was rare when Jimmy was serious. He prided himself on being able to rely on his humour. "Martin was an idiot. I don't know why he would cheat on you with the boring housewife."

"Because Martin always wanted the boring housewife," Cecilia responded, shrugging her shoulders over to him as she leant forwards for the bottle of scotch, pouring some more into her glass. She downed the drink once more and then turned back to Jimmy. "He wanted the good little wife who was at home to cook his dinner whenever he got back from a long day. He wanted the dutiful housewife and I wasn't it. I was the wife he wanted when he was in his twenties…young…free…not the wife he wants now that he's back home in his thirties and just wants dinner and routine sex."

Jimmy remained mute then before he looked down to his lap and Cecilia scoffed, shaking her head as she stood up, moving around the office, pacing up and down before turning on her heel back and forth.

"Sorry," she said to him. "I'm being a moaning bitch."

"No, you're not," he responded to her, his voice full of honesty as he saw her begin to turn and miss her footing. She struggled to catch her balance as Jimmy stood up, his hands going to grab hold of her waist to steady her. He moved his hands around her thin midriff, his fingers crumpling up the blouse she wore as he let them rest in the small of her back.

Still feeling drunk, Cecilia let her hands run up Jimmy's shoulders, holding them loosely. Looking into her eyes, Jimmy wondered what was happening. He was not immune to women. Of course he wasn't. He liked to pretend that he was a Lothario and he could read women. Clearly he couldn't read Cecilia. Instead of moving closer to her, he found himself caught off guard as her forehead dropped against his chest and she was suddenly crying.

Jimmy blinked profusely as she let the tears run down her face, her body shaking as Jimmy kept his arms around her and her hands slid down to grab hold of the lapels of his suit jacket. Jimmy remained stood upright and stiff, rolling his eyes at himself. How foolish could he have been? Why would he think she wanted to kiss him? He felt like an idiot. Instead he remained stood on the spot, holding onto Cecilia.

"Why?" Cecilia sobbed. "Why did he do it? With her…with Marnie Goldsmith…why?"

Jimmy sighed and knew what he had to do. Comforting Cecilia was not something he had done before. Every time he saw her she was strong. She was always strong and able to control herself. But tonight was different. Tonight she was letting go. She was letting her emotions rule her. Jimmy suspected it might be healthy for her. He had always seen her in control.

"Because he's an arsehole who doesn't know a good thing when he has it," Jimmy promised her in a whisper as her grip on his suit jacket seemed to increase. "You can do so much better than that dickweed. Believe me, Cecilia, you will do better."

It took a moment before she managed to stop herself from sobbing and she looked upwards, her eyes meeting Jimmy's as she searched his gaze. Jimmy could see her eyes move down and over his face, falling onto his lips. Her eyes were still tear stained as she moved up; her body sliding deliciously up his, the warmth radiating from her body.

"No," Jimmy said, managing to back his head away from her. "Cecilia, you'll regret it."

Minutes ago he had been willing to kiss her. He had been willing to press his lips to hers, but now he couldn't do it. He couldn't take advantage.

"Then let me regret it," Cecilia said to him, her voice husky as she tugged at his tie. "Jimmy…"

The way that she said his name was enough to make him feel reluctant to move away. She said nothing for a few moments before she dared to move again, but Jimmy turned his head to the side, letting her lips press against his cheek as Jimmy moved his hands to her shoulders.

"Cecilia, you're drunk," he informed her. "You're upset. I'm not going to take advantage of you like this."

"I know what I'm doing," she informed him, but her words were slightly slurred. "Unless you don't want me? Is that it? You don't want me?"

"Cecilia-"

"-So no one wants me?" Cecilia demanded, her voice rising as Jimmy shook his head, longing to tell her that wasn't it. Right now he wouldn't mind being with her, but he knew her. He knew that she might regret it eventually. "Martin was right…"

"It's not that," Jimmy promised her in a low voice, his hands going to hold her cheeks tenderly, his thumbs brushing her hair behind her ears. "Cecilia, it's not that."

Her eyes widened. "So you do want me?"

Jimmy looked away then, wondering what the hell he did want. The pair of them had always just been friends. They had just been close and friendly. There had never been any romantic tendencies there. Jimmy had often let his eyes wander over her, appreciating her like he did many other women. That didn't mean that he wanted a relationship with her. But, at the same time, she wasn't the only one who felt lonely.

"Do you want me?" Jimmy turned the tables on her and watched her face seem to falter for a moment.

It took her a moment before she thought about his question and answered him; "I asked you first."

"And I'm asking you now," Jimmy responded and Cecilia gulped, almost feeling as though she was sobering herself up by conversing with him. He said nothing for a few moments, but he was taken off guard when he felt Cecilia tug at his jacket, her fingers slipping underneath it as she slipped it from him.

"I want you right now," she finally answered him. "And I know what I'm doing."

Jimmy was about to argue with her, but he had no time. He felt her move and press her lips against his, the motion shocking him. He didn't move for a moment as she worked her lips against his, her hands helping him shrug out of his jacket as it fell to the floor. Soon enough, Jimmy responded, unable to stop himself from enjoying the feeling of her lips as he moved with haste, his own hands moving to her hair and holding it tightly.

He suspected they would have a lot to discuss in the morning.

…

Cecilia's head was pounding as she opened her eyes. She couldn't see the sun with thanks to there being no windows in Jimmy's office. She peeled her eyes open slowly, her hand going to her forehead as she rolled onto her back. Somehow she had found herself on Jimmy's pull out sofa bed, her head resting on a pillow. The weight of an arm over her waist was enough to make her roll her head to the side, looking over to the man next to her.

She knew exactly what they had done the previous evening and she had no regrets about it. She had quite enjoyed it, truly. Jimmy had managed to tug the bed from the sofa before the two of them collapsed onto it, a pile of sweaty limbs and sloppy kisses.

Looking down, Cecilia saw that her body was covered in a thin white sheet, but she was still quite chilly. That was ironic considering how warm Albuquerque always was. She moved her hand to Jimmy's arm, peeling it from her as she sat up, tugging the sheet with her against her chest.

"Ce?" Jimmy's voice dragged her out of the daze she had been in as she turned her head over her shoulder to see him, his hand moving up and down her bare back. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah," Cecilia said with a nod of her head. "I just need to use the bathroom."

"Down the hall to the right," Jimmy informed her, watching as she reached for her pencil skirt and slipped into it, grabbing her blouse and pulling it on, forgetting her bra.

Jimmy did his best not to look at her discarded underwear that laid on the ground as she slipped off in sight of the bathroom. Jimmy sat up, resting against the cushions of the sofa as he waited for her to return. She came back and Jimmy was about to tell her that the sheer blouse did nothing to help conceal her form, but he had no chance as she slipped back into the bed, laying down and tugging the sheet back up her body.

"Do you regret it?" Jimmy decided to ask and she shook her head.

"No," she said to him. "Do you?"

"Not really," Jimmy replied. "I was more just wondering if this was going to be a one time thing or if it means more?"

Cecilia gulped then, moving to sit up and look over to Jimmy, her hands going to pull at her hair, tugging it behind her shoulders as she noticed his gaze move down to her chest.

"Why does it have to mean anything?" she wondered of him and Jimmy arched a brow in her direction. "Why can we not just enjoy doing this? Does there have to be a definition for this?"

"You're happy for it to be like that?" he asked of her and she nodded her head, leaning forwards to kiss him once more as he moved to take hold of her hands.

"For the time being, yes," Cecilia assured him. "So long as you are?"

Jimmy didn't know if he was happy. He didn't know entirely what had happened or what he wanted. Instead he kept silent, nodding his head as he let his fingers work on her blouse once more, knowing that he was in danger of getting in too deep.

…

A/N: Do let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

Jimmy didn't exactly force himself to complain as Cecilia pressed her lips to his. It had been two days since they had last seen each other and Cecilia had called him that morning to ask if he fancied a bottle of whiskey and a pizza that night. He had agreed, asking if they should meet at his place or her place. She had said his place. She hated going back home. She hated where she lived. She hated the dull apartment and the memories of going back and being alone.

Of course, at least she had an apartment. Jimmy lived in the back of the nail salon. He had a sofa bed in his office. He really had nothing. But Cecilia respected that about him. She respected him for being able to keep going. He had bills and he had debts, but he kept on pushing. He wouldn't give up on his dream of being a lawyer and Cecilia respected that.

She also couldn't deny that she was attracted to him. She doubted she would have slept with him if she wasn't attracted to him. She doubted that she would have walked into his office with pizza and alcohol and forgotten all about them if she didn't find him attractive. That was why she tossed the food and drink onto his desk and grabbed hold of him, tugging at his tie until her mouth found his.

Jimmy didn't entirely complain, his hands running down her back until they found her backside, his fingers cupping it and pushing her closer to him. She moaned into his mouth as she felt him move them towards the sofa, sitting down until she straddled him. Pulling back for a moment as she reached for the zipper at the back of her dress, she saw Jimmy clasp hold of her hips, his thumb roaming over her hipbones.

"Well that was a nice greeting," Jimmy muttered and Cecilia let her lips quirk at hearing him. "So how was your day?"

Cecilia arched a brow as she shrugged out of her dress, tugging it down her arms until it pooled at her waist and Jimmy took in her pale skin, her breasts covered in a white lacy bra as he let his eyes wander to them before gulping.

"Do you want to talk about my day, which, incidentally, involved writing about a public urination case, or do you want me to take this dress off and we can skip the boring talk?"

Jimmy pretended to muse for a moment, looking to the ceiling as he moved his hands to his cheeks, cupping hold of his face. "Such a tough decision," he said, falsely pondering as Cecilia laughed, the noise hearty as her hands went back to tug at her dress, pulling it upwards.

"Well, I don't want to make anything more difficult for you so public urination it is," she said and Jimmy moved his hands then, stopping her from completing the motion as she looked to him and he smiled back up to her.

"That doesn't mean you need to get dressed," Jimmy said and she leant down to kiss him tenderly, her hand holding his cheek as she made the motion.

…

Jimmy didn't know if he was a hopeless romantic. He didn't know if he was a fool or if he just wanted someone because he was so lonely. He didn't know. All that he knew was that he couldn't help himself from watching Cecilia as she slept soundly by his side. She had the duvet pulled up to her chin, her cheek pressed on his chest as his arm held her shoulders.

But when he looked down to Cecilia he kept imagining what it might be like to wake up to her every morning. He knew exactly what he could be like. He could be impulsive and he could over-evaluate everything. He suspected that was what he was doing now. Cecilia had been very clear that she didn't want a relationship. Jimmy wouldn't be surprised if she was still in love with her ex-husband, even though he was nothing but a steaming pile of crap.

"What time is it?" Cecilia's voice entered his ears and he lifted his wrist, checking his watch.

The only light came from the lamp he had left on. Blinking to check, he spoke in a husky voice; "Half past ten."

"Is that it?" Cecilia wondered. "I feel like I've been asleep for hours."

"Only two," Jimmy said.

"Have you been awake?" she wondered back.

"Always am," he informed her. "Recently, anyway, I've been struggling to sleep. I keep thinking about things."

She lifted up slightly, her hands coming to press on his chest as she let her chin rest on her knuckles. She looked him in the eye as the back of his hand came down to run over her cheek, the motion tender and soothing as his eyes looked to the ceiling.

"What about?" she wondered from him.

"Bills…no clients…I'm living in a box…and I'm pretty much bankrupt."

"Then let me help," Cecilia urged from him.

Looking down to her, he arched his brows and shook his head at her. He moved his free hand to rest on her naked back under the sheets, feeling her warm breath on his neck as she breathed. Jimmy let his fingers tickle on her bare skin and she kept her eyes on his face.

"I can't ask that," Jimmy said. "You're barely holding onto your own job. You…you shouldn't be worrying about me, Ce. You have yourself to worry over."

"Stop it," Cecilia urged from him. "I want to help you. You're my friend. What is it you need?"

Jimmy shook his head. "I am not taking money from you," he said, voice defiant. She said nothing to him as he kept on talking. "Besides, I should be able to do this on my own. I'm nearly a middle-aged man and it was my choice to go out on my own. I wanted to be a lawyer. I thought that there was money being a lawyer."

Cecilia nodded. "There is if you work for a big firm like HHM," she promised him. "But you don't. You wanted to do this on your own."

"Such an idiot," Jimmy said. "I was earning more when I worked in the mailroom."

"But this is what you want, right?" Cecilia asked. "You want to make it on your own? Things like this take hard work, Jimmy. You'll get there eventually."

Smirking, Jimmy watched as she moved closer to him and kissed him chastely, her forehead pressing against his. He felt the ends of her hair come down to his neck, tickling the skin there as she smiled to him.

"You have too much faith in me," he said.

"That's because you have no faith at all," Cecilia said. "Besides, I've seen you in court."

"And you think that's me?" Jimmy enquired and she shrugged.

"I think it is an exaggerated version of you," she responded. "We all put on some kind of façade when we're at work, right? Isn't that the done thing? But you're good. You're good at what you do."

"Doesn't feel like it," Jimmy responded.

"I felt like that," Cecilia said. "When I was interning before I made it as a journalist. I was running around New York and working at all these newspapers and I barely had enough money to keep my one bed apartment."

"Yeah," Jimmy said, "but you were young and in your twenties. If you wanted to you could go back to New York and be a high-flying journalist again. You know that you could. I know you said that you couldn't afford to do it, but I think you could."

Cecilia shrugged. "Just like I think that you can do this," she responded with him. "Maybe we're both just a bit lost right now? But I want to help, Jimmy. Let me help."

Jimmy moved to push her hair behind her ear, his fingers spanning over her cheek as he made the motion.

"You help just by being here," he promised her. "Let's just forget about it, okay? I could do with some cold pizza right now."

"That I can do," Cecilia assured him, patting his chest and moving to grab the food.

…

When Jimmy had asked if Cecilia wanted to do something that weekend, he didn't know what he had imagined. Dressed in a shirt and jeans, he met her at the supermarket after she had told him she needed to get groceries. He had parked his car and found her by the entrance, dressed in a summer blue dress with her hair tugged into a ponytail, sunglasses on top of her head.

"Hey," she said once she saw him and Jimmy couldn't help but notice everything about her now; from the way her calf muscles tensed when she moved to the way her chest would rise and fall gently.

"Hey," Jimmy responded, focusing on her face. "So what do you need?"

"Ugh, everything," she complained to him. "I'm down on so many types of groceries. I was also thinking that you could come over for dinner tonight if you fancied it? Considering you don't own an oven I thought I might cook us something?"

Jimmy nodded at her, grabbing hold of a trolley and pushing it for her as she wandered by his side down the aisles, putting things into the mesh wired trolley. Jimmy would often find his eyes straying over to her, especially when he saw her focus on the list she was holding, her battered brown satchel clanging against her side as she walked on.

"So what are we cooking tonight?" Jimmy wondered, adjusting the collar of the green polo shirt he wore as they stood in the vegetable aisle and Cecilia looked over the carrots.

"I was thinking a pasta in tomato sauce," she informed him. "Add some peppers, carrots and…"

She trailed off as soon as she looked down the aisle, her eyes going over Jimmy's shoulder as she spotted the man in the distance moving towards them. His eyes met hers and Cecilia gulped as Jimmy turned his head over the shoulder and then back to the front, rolling his eyes.

"Martin," Cecilia found herself greeting the man who was now her ex-husband as he wandered by his new wife.

"Cecelia," Martin responded in a curt and clipped tone. "How are you?"

"Fine," Cecilia responded, her tone just as forced as she looked at her ex-husband, wondering exactly what to do.

The sight of him still did something to her and she didn't know how to push past that feeling. She wanted to move on. She had to move on. In a way she had pushed on slightly with Jimmy by her side.

"Good," Martin said, removing a hand from the trolley as he pushed a hand through his short, clipped brown hair. He wore a striped blue shirt, the top two buttons undone and his jeans were tight on his skinny frame.

The woman beside him was petite, her blue eyes wide and her hair blonder than Cecelia had ever seen it. Marnie Goldsmith was everything that Rachel hated. She hated the sight of her and her perfect figure, her wardrobe full of tight fitting dresses that emphasised her curves. Her face was also pristine with makeup and her hair neatly coiffed. She really was perfect.

"Listen, Cecelia," Martin began. "I know it's been a year since we split, but we have something to let you know."

"Oh?" Cecilia wondered.

But Martin didn't need to say anything. Cecelia already knew as soon as Marnie placed her hand on her stomach.

"We're expecting a baby," Martin said.

"I see," Cecelia said with pursed lips.

"We wanted to do the respectful thing, of course," Marnie declared, having the audacity to look to Cecelia. "We wanted to tell you ourselves."

Jimmy scoffed, unable to stop himself. Martin's eyes flashed onto the lawyer as Cecelia also looked to him. But it was too late. Martin was already snapping at Jimmy.

"And what's so funny?" Martin demanded.

Holding his hands up in defence, Jimmy let go of the trolley as Cecelia stood by his side, tossing some carrots into the basket.

"Just talking about doing the respectful thing," Jimmy said. "I would have thought that the respectful thing would have been not cheating on your wife in the first place."

Martin seethed as Marnie let out a deep breath.

"And do you expect me to take lessons on morality from Albuquerque's most unethical lawyer?" Martin demanded. "I know who you are, Jimmy McGill. I also know that you're washed up and not exactly someone to be lecturing me on respect."

"Hey," Cecelia snapped at her ex-husband. "Don't talk to him like that."

"It's alright," Jimmy promised Cecelia. "He can call me whatever he likes if it makes him feel less like a piece of shit for what he did to you."

Gaping, Cecelia could scarcely believe what she was hearing as Jimmy watched Martin slowly grow with anger, his pale cheeks turning red with anger. She knew that Martin didn't appreciate being spoken to in such a manner, but she couldn't help but feel something like joy at hearing Jimmy stick up for her like he was doing.

"Some classy guy you've bagged yourself here, Ce," Martin scoffed.

"At least he doesn't cheat on me," Cecelia said. "And who I see or date is no longer your concern. We've been divorced for a year."

"Whatever," Martin said with a roll of his eyes and he began to move on, Marnie having no other option but to follow. "Scummy lawyer."

"Never heard that one before," Jimmy retorted as they left and Cecelia looked up to him as he glanced back down to her. "You deserve so much better than that asshole."

"Thank you," Cecelia said to Jimmy. "But I think we should pay for these and get out of here before you or Martin start a brawl in the freezer aisle."

…

A/N: Do let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

Sipping on his beer, Jimmy leant against the counter in Ceceilia's kitchen, his thighs pressing against the wood as he looked to Cecelia. She was stood next to him, stirring the tomato sauce as the pasta boiled in a pan next to it. Jimmy had to admit it smelt amazing. It had been a while since he had been given a home cooked meal. He often went to Chuck's, but ever since him and Rebecca had been arguing, Jimmy had given his brother space.

"I can't believe him," Jimmy said, still seething about Martin and the way he had treated Cecelia. "So he cheats on you and then gets her knocked up after a year? He's got some nerve."

"I know," Cecelia muttered her agreement with him. "But that is Martin, isn't it? He's that kind of man. I should have known before I married him."

"No," Jimmy said, sipping on his beer once more. "You weren't to know, Cecelia. People change."

"And sometimes not for the better," Cecelia commented and picked up the grated carrot, pouring it into the sauce and stirring it once more. "Can you pass me my wine?"

Jimmy reached behind him for her glass, picking it up and passing it over to her. She sipped on it and held it in her fingertips, her eyes set on the pan as she felt Jimmy move a hand down her back, his palm resting on it as she leant back slightly, her head going to rest on his shoulder.

"You're going to be fine without him," Jimmy promised her in a whisper. "You're going to be better than fine, Cecelia. You don't need him."

"I know," Cecelia responded. "I just always assumed that I was going to be the one having his child. I hadn't thought of it before, but it was in the back of my mind, you know? Like, you think eventually that you might be ready for children."

"I know," Jimmy said. "I always assumed I might have children by now."

Cecelia turned to look at him as he went back to sipping his beer, a shrug leaving his shoulders. "I get it," he promised her. "When I found out that my wife had cheated on me with Chet, I was devastated."

Cecelia knew that Jimmy had been married before. He had told her that. He had even told her what happened when he found Chet parked in a car park one day. She was amazed that he hadn't ended up in jail. However, she suspected that was the benefit of having Chuck for a brother.

"Sorry," Cecelia said in a soft tone. "I don't mean to go on about Martin. I know you were hurt too."

Jimmy shrugged. "It was a long time ago," he told her with a wave of his hand. "A lot has changed since then."

"Yeah," Cecelia said, a teasing tone to her voice as she spoke. "Slippin' Jimmy is no longer a thing."

"Hey, I tell you these things in confidence that you won't mock me," Jimmy pointed out as Cecelia went back to sipping on her wine. She stirred the pasta for a moment before she saw the pasta sauce begin to boil and spit.

"Well, you shouldn't tell me these things when you're drunk," Cecelia said. "And can you stir the sauce while I do the pasta?"

Jimmy moved then, taking one final swig of his beer before placing it down and reaching for the wooden spoon in the sauce. He stirred it slowly as Cecelia picked up a bit of pasta on the spoon, moving it towards her mouth as she took a bite, making sure that it was cooked. She placed a hand over her mouth, gasping at the heat of the pasta.

"A few more minutes," she commented. "I hate al dente pasta."

"Hey, you're the boss," Jimmy said to her, his hands held up in defeat as he glanced over to her, his lips quirked upwards at the sight of her. He never tired of looking at her. There was something about Cecelia that he couldn't put his finger on. "I'm just grateful that I'm getting a home cooked meal."

"Well, we can't live on take out all the time," she said. "I've already put on three pounds in the past two weeks."

"I can't tell," Jimmy said to her.

"Of course you can't." Cecelia responded. "I barely give you a chance to see me naked."

"I don't think that's accurate," Jimmy responded as Cecelia continued to prod at the pasta and he nudged his shoulder against hers. "I distinctly remember you coming to my office the other night and stripping as soon as you were in the door."

"Yeah, well," Cecelia said, trying to act nonchalant. "Anyway, the pasta should be done. I'll drain it if you want to take the sauce off the heat and take out the garlic bread from the oven?"

"Yes, boss," Jimmy mumbled, doing exactly as Cecelia had asked of him.

He went about turning the oven and the hob off. He grabbed the garlic bread with the oven mitts, sliding it onto the plate she had placed on the side. She finished draining the pasta and then dished it into two bowls before pouring the sauce over it, steam coming from the top.

"Smells delicious," Jimmy informed her.

"I only hope it tastes it," Cecelia responded as she carried the two bowls into the living room. She set them down on the coffee table before sitting down on the edge of her sofa, grabbing the cutlery she had laid out before picking her bowl up.

Jimmy followed suit, settling into the plush leather sofa and leaning back, tucking into his food as Cecelia did the same.

"Your wife was an idiot," Cecelia finally spoke, her voice low and the words rushed as she said them. Looking over to her, Jimmy saw her curl herself into a ball on the other end of the sofa, her bowl resting just on her kneecaps as she ate.

"Sorry," Cecelia said in a whisper. "I know that you probably don't want to think about her, let alone talk about her."

Jimmy shook his head. "It's fine," he mumbled.

"No, it's not," Cecelia said. "It's not fine because she was an absolute idiot to cheat on you with an idiot. Why would she do that? You…you're kind…charming…you always put me before yourself…"

"No," Jimmy said with a shake of his head, placing his bowl on the coffee table. "Cecelia, I wasn't…I was a different person back then. I did things that I wasn't proud of. I did things that I would never do now. You…you know the better version of me. Well, I like to think that I'm the better version of me. I don't honestly know."

Cecelia placed her bowl down then, sliding to rest on her knees as she placed her hands in her lap. "But I still can't imagine you ever treating someone the way Martin treated me."

"Yeah, well maybe not," Jimmy shrugged. "But I was an idiot sometimes. I mean, you know how I ended up here. You know what I did to Chet…yes…I hated the guy and I wanted to make him pay, but I shouldn't have done _that_."

"Perhaps not," Cecelia agreed with him. "But why do you do this to yourself? Constantly feel the need to belittle yourself?"

Jimmy chuckled darkly and peered down to his lap once more, his shoulders shrugging. "Because that's the truth," he informed her. "The truth is that I'm not all I'm cracked up to be. I'm…I'm a screw up and my ex-wife was right."

"No, she wasn't," Cecelia responded. "You've changed things around."

"Maybe I've changed them slightly," he agreed, "but there's still more that I could be doing. I need to find a real place to live. I need to find more clients."

"And you will," Cecelia said, moving to rest a hand on his arm. "I know that you will."

Jimmy offered her a wavering smile before he felt her move closer to him and kiss him softly. Jimmy savoured the feeling for a few brief moments before he reached for her, hauling her closer to him until he finally had her straddling his lap. He pulled back after a second and reached for the zip of her dress, tugging it down.

"Good job we didn't eat the garlic bread," Jimmy mumbled as he pulled her dress down to her waist. "Or this could be quite the smelly make out."

Cecelia laughed at what he said, completely forgetting about dinner.

…

Sitting on the floor, Cecelia panted for breath as she tugged Jimmy's shirt onto her body and he pulled his boxers back onto his legs. She fastened up the buttons and leant against the sofa, her legs stretched in front of her as she bent her upper body towards her legs, stretching her muscles.

"I think that we might need to warm the dinner up," she mumbled as Jimmy bent down to kiss her neck.

"I don't think I've worked up enough of an appetite," Jimmy informed her and she let a laugh escape her lips once more.

"Well, you're going to have to wait for a while because I cannot go again," she declared, patting him on the chest before letting her head rest back on the sofa and Jimmy watched her make the movement. He took another moment to let his eyes roam over her, wondering if he would ever tire of watching her.

"Your stamina not what it used to be, huh?" he taunted her.

"Oh, really?" she wondered from him. "Weren't you the one complaining of cramp twenty minutes ago?"

"Hey, I went for a run this morning," he said. "I think it's the effects of that.

Jimmy watched as she laughed loudly once more and he let his lips rise into a small smile.

"Jimmy, you did not go for a run," she said. "You barely managed to get up in time to meet me at the supermarket."

"That's because I was having a nap after my run," Jimmy said.

"Of course," she said, sarcasm echoing in her tone as Jimmy moved.

He let his arm move closer towards her, going around her shoulders and bringing her to nestle tightly against his side. She let her arm go to wrap around his waist, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. Closing her eyes, she let a sigh of contentment wash over her as Jimmy's hand curled around her upper arm.

"You're still not a bad person, Jimmy," Cecelia whispered to him. "You've been a good friend to me since I met you."

"Yeah, well someone had to take you in and show you the ways of Albuquerque," Jimmy told her. "Besides, I don't think friends sleep with friends. Unless there's a term for that."

"Friends with benefits," Cecelia answered him.

"Sounds crass."

"It does," she agreed with him. "But we're more than that, Jimmy. Honestly, we might not put a label on it, but I like you, okay? What we're doing is not just casual sex."

"I guess," Jimmy shrugged. "I don't know, Ce. I just…I don't want you to feel pressured…but today at the supermarket we did sort of act a bit like a couple."

"So?"

"So…" Jimmy drawled and trailed off. "It's doesn't matter."

It was then when Cecelia furrowed her brows. Moving to pull back from Jimmy, she sat up straight and looked him in the eye. "Do you want a relationship?" she asked from him. "I mean, I thought that you were fine with this?"

"I am," Jimmy said to her. "I am happy with this. I'm happy when I'm with you, Cecelia. I just…I want to know what the limits are. Like today, we went to the supermarket together…we were seen together…can we do that? Can we go out together?"

Cecelia bit down on her lip. "I guess I hadn't thought about it," she admitted to him. "It's not like I care what people think. I don't know anybody around here, not really, and I'm not embarrassed to be seen with you. That's not what you think, is it?"

"It crossed my mind," Jimmy admitted to her and she rolled her eyes. "What? You're an attractive woman, Cecelia."

"And you're not bad looking yourself," she responded. "Listen to me, Jimmy, I am not embarrassed to be with you. On the contrary, I like being with you. I just don't think I'm ready for…for opening up…for acting like a loved up couple in public. I'm just not ready for that. I'm sorry."

"So we just…what?" Jimmy wondered. "We just continue like this?"

"For the time being," she said. "I'm not saying that we'll be able to move on and be….well…look, I'm sorry, Jimmy, it's just that I don't know if I can promise you anything."

"Yeah, I figured as much," Jimmy whispered. "Just don't…don't play me, Cecelia. I've been played by too many people before. I don't know if I could handle it if you did it."

Cecelia moved to kiss him then, the motion hasty yet tender. "I would never hurt you," she promised him in a whisper. "I couldn't do that to you."

Jimmy nodded and continued to kiss her, the motion soft for Jimmy as he cupped her cheek and wondered exactly what they would do in the future.

...

A/N: Do let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

Jimmy didn't know if he wanted to sit and listen to his brother lecture him. He had a sense that was what was coming. Rebecca had gone out to rehearsal just as Jimmy had entered the house. He saw his brother stood in the kitchen, holding a glass of wine in his fingertips. He had his usual disapproving look on his face as Jimmy rolled his eyes and loosened his tie. Dropping his battered briefcase down onto the worktop, Jimmy went into the living room and flopped down onto the sofa.

"I take it you heard?" Jimmy asked from his brother.

Chuck followed Jimmy through into the living room and took a seat in the armchair, his legs folding over each other as Jimmy tossed his head back. Closing his eyes and raking a hand through his hair, Jimmy waited for Chuck to begin.

"How you and Cecilia Morris had a screaming match with Martin Johnson and Marnie Goldsmith? I did hear something about that from Donna next door. She had heard from Boris, however, who I think had heard-"

"-I get it," Jimmy said, opening his eyes and holding a hand up to silence his brother. "News sure travels fast in this town, huh?"

Chuck almost rolled his eyes, but he refrained. He took a sip of his wine before speaking again; "What were you thinking, Jimmy? Did you want to embarrass yourself?"

"Hey!" Jimmy snapped, holding a hand up to stop his brother from speaking anymore. "That is unfair. I was defending Cecelia. You know what that guy did to her, right? He cheated on her and then he had the nerve to stand in that supermarket and tell her that his new shiny wife was expecting a baby."

Chuck pursed his lips and lowered his eyes for a moment. It was another second before he nodded his head. "That is rather unfortunate," Chuck managed to say. "However, that does not mean that you need to start a war in a supermarket."

"Hey, I didn't punch him," Jimmy said, almost as though that was something to be proud of. It was another moment before he looked over to Chuck, his eyes full of honesty and earnest as he spoke. "He hurt Cecelia."

"And since when were you so concerned about Cecelia?" Chuck enquired from his brother and Jimmy moved to his feet, feeling jumpy all of a sudden. Moving around the living room, Jimmy's hands went to his hips as he moved up and down, counting the paces he was doing.

"She…she has been my friend for a while," Jimmy said, wondering why he was feeling this way. Why was he so nervous about speaking to his brother about a woman he was seeing? Jimmy was a grown man. He was an adult and a relationship was not something new. He had been married, for goodness sake. "You know that I haven't had many friends since I came here and we're pretty much the same. We both have been cheated on and we just ended up getting close."

"Close?" Chuck echoed.

"What do you want to hear?" Jimmy wondered, standing in front of his brother and flapping his hands by his sides. "That I am in love with her?"

Chuck arched a brow. "Are you?"

"No," Jimmy answered honestly, turning his eyes away before shrugging. "I don't love her, but I do…I do really like her. I…she is special…kind…"

"So you are on the way to falling in love with her?" Chuck continued his line of questioning and Jimmy shrugged before sitting back down on the edge of the sofa.

His knee bounced up and down continuously as his hands clasped together to rest in between his legs. He bowed his head and looked down to the ground before speaking again, almost feeling embarrassed. "She said that she isn't ready for a relationship."

Chuck sipped on his wine once more. "And you are ready?" Chuck wondered.

"I don't know," Jimmy responded. "I just want her to be happy and she is happy being how we are."

"Friends with benefits?" Chuck asked and Jimmy shot a scowl across to him.

"Don't be crass," Jimmy urged.

Chuck shrugged, head tilting to the side as he watched his brother. "It is crass, Jimmy," Chuck said. "And at your age I would have thought that you would have wanted better. You are a grown man, not a hormonal teenager who simply needs to fulfil his urges every weekend."

Jimmy didn't particularly enjoy being spoken to in such a manner. His teeth chewed down on his bottom lip as he looked to his brother and then spoke.

"In case you hadn't noticed, Chuck, I'm not entirely successful myself," Jimmy said. "I live in my office, which, by the way, is in the back of a salon. My wife left me and I was forced to come back here because I almost wound up in jail. Is it any surprise that she doesn't want a relationship with me? I don't have good things. I don't get good things…why should I get her?"

Chuck didn't entirely know what he should say to that. He felt a part of himself ache for his brother and the way he thought. Chuck knew that Jimmy would never forgive him if he knew the truth. He would never forgive him and Chuck couldn't live with that. His brother acted the cocky guy, but he suffered from low self-esteem. He hid it deep down, but Chuck could see it.

"Do you want to be with her?" Chuck asked.

"I want her to be happy," Jimmy merely responded. "I don't know what that means and I don't know if I can be the one to make her happy in the long run, but I need to keep trying…if I keep trying then she might change her mind…she might…I don't know."

Chuck almost felt sorry for Jimmy. He finished his wine and placed the glass down onto the coffee table. Pushing himself to his feet, he moved towards Jimmy and placed his hand onto his shoulder, holding it gently. Jimmy remained still and looked to Chuck. For a moment, Chuck saw the scared little boy he had always known back when Jimmy was younger.

"You deserve happiness as much as anyone else," Chuck informed his brother. "I know you haven't made good decisions all of the time, but that does not mean that you should not be happy."

"Thanks, Chuck," he responded. "You're a good brother."

Chuck gulped and nodded.

…

Cecelia found herself sat on the sofa in Jimmy's office, but Jimmy was not there. She had snuck through the salon and into the office, placing the pizza box down on his desk. She had checked her phone to see if she had a message from him, but there was nothing. She wondered if he had gotten caught up in court. Moving to grab hold of a beer she had bought with her, she took a swig of her drink and then held it in her lap.

Kicking her shoes off, she also tugged off her tights and threw them into the corner. Sitting back on the sofa, it was an hour before Jimmy walked into the office. His tie was halfway down his shirt and his top button undone. He furrowed his brow as he saw her, setting down the drink of cucumber water he had taken from the salon.

"Where have you been?" Cecelia wondered from him.

"Sorry," Jimmy said to her. "I ended up staying at Chuck's later than I had wanted to. I would have text, but my cell's died."

He took out the offending item and tossed it onto his desk. He flopped onto the sofa and Cecelia moved quickly. Jimmy didn't even react as he felt her straddle his lap, her hands coming to his shoulders as her lips found his neck. Jimmy tried to relax as he felt her hand move down his stomach, heading south as he did his best to think coherent.

"Ce," Jimmy spoke in a hushed tone.

Pulling her head up and looking him in the eye, she arched a brow as she saw the confused expression on Jimmy's face. Pulling back slightly, she let her hands move to hold onto his, the touch comforting and familiar. She rested their joint hands on her thighs as she tried to get him to look her in the eye.

"What is it?" Cecelia asked from him.

"I don't know if I can do this," he admitted in a soft whisper.

"Do what?"

"This," he said, motioning between them as he kept hold of her hand. "You and me…but…not you and me."

"Jimmy," Cecelia complained and she slipped from his lap and looked him in the eye. "We discussed this."

"Yeah, I know we did," Jimmy told her. "And I want to be honest with you. I always want to be honest with you, Cecelia. I just don't know if I can do this, okay? I don't know if I can pretend that it is okay when I know deep down that it isn't okay. I know that I risk falling…falling further for you…"

Closing her eyes, Cecelia didn't know if she could listen to anymore. She had promised not to play him. She had promised not to hurt him and she could never do that to him. It was another moment before she moved to her feet and grabbed her shoes and tights. Jimmy cocked his brow and tilted his head.

"Cecelia?"

"No," Cecelia said, shaking her head. "Jimmy, I promised you that I would not play you and I am not going to do that. I respect you too much to do that."

"So you are leaving?" Jimmy wondered, also moving to his feet.

"What would you have me do, Jimmy?" she wondered from him. "I am not going to sit here and tell you that I can give you what you want because I can't do that. You deserve someone who is able to do that and it is not me right now. I'm…I'm not going to hurt you."

"Ce-"

"-No," she interrupted him as she grabbed her jacket and bag, looking to Jimmy for a moment before moving towards him, her hand pressing against his chest. She kept it there for a brief moment before she dared to bend in and peck him on the cheek. "We need space, Jimmy."

"And if I tell you that I never meant it?"

She offered him a soft smile. "No," she said. "I know the truth, Jimmy. I knew it the other night…I suspected it…I should have done from the way you were talking."

"Can we just talk about this?" Jimmy wondered.

"Maybe," Cecelia said. "But not tonight."

Before Jimmy could protest, Cecelia had slipped from his grip and moved out of the office. He watched her go, his eyes sad and his face full of pain. He didn't want this. He wanted her to stay. He wanted her to tell him that things would be alright. But she couldn't do it. Jimmy only wondered if she would in time.

…

A/N: Do let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

Jimmy was lost without Cecelia. He didn't know what he should be doing. He didn't know what to think or how to feel. His entire life seemed to slow down and every time he checked his cell or his voicemail on his landline, he was disappointed. He hated that she hadn't called. She had left that evening and not returned. Cecelia had walked away and not come back.

He had tried not to let it bother him too much. He had moved on and taken a couple of cases down at the court, but ultimately his mind always went back to Cecelia. She was the only one he could think of. She was the only thing his mind constantly wanted to think about and he hated it. He wanted to move on. He deserved to move on.

Or maybe this was punishment? Maybe he didn't deserve to move on? He had done some bad things in the past. He had ruined lives and he had almost ended up in jail for a stupid act. He had become a lawyer, but he was messing that up and he didn't even really go to law school. He liked shortcuts. He liked bending the rules. But did that make him a bad person? Did that make him someone unworthy of any shred of happiness?

"You've been moping around here for ages," Chuck informed Jimmy once he had returned home from work. Rebecca had passed Jimmy a bottle of beer and he was now sat on the sofa drinking it while Rebecca held a glass of wine in her fingertips.

She offered Jimmy a sad smile before looking to Chuck. "We've all been there, Chuck," she said.

"Been where?" Chuck enquired, pecking her on the cheek and sitting down besides her on the sofa across from Jimmy. "Jimmy, you were not dating her. You were simply sleeping with her."

Rebecca let herself frown as Jimmy didn't even bother to argue with his brother. "That doesn't matter, Chuck," she said in a slightly scolding tone as he leaned back and draped his arm over the back of the sofa. "Jimmy clearly had feelings for her."

"And you told her and she said she didn't feel the same," Chuck replied and Jimmy had to admit that he was scarcely listening. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to talk about Cecelia or think about her. But everyone else clearly had her on their mind. Truth be told, so did Jimmy.

"Bingo," Jimmy muttered and took a swig of the beer. "I don't know why I expected anything different. I mean, have you seen her?"

"I have," Rebecca nodded her head. "Well, I saw her when she was with her ex-husband. Both of them came to a concert of ours and a friend of a friend introduced us. It was only fleeting, but I remember she said she was a journalist from the Journal. I have looked out for her things ever since."

"See!" Jimmy pointed at Rebecca. "She gets it."

"Gets what?" Chuck wondered, biting the bait.

"What is so special about Cecelia," Jimmy said. "She met her once and she still looks out for her work. It's Cecelia…she's just…once you meet her you can't forget her."

"Like you?" Chuck wondered from his brother. "I have to tell you, Jimmy, most people at HHM haven't forgotten who you are. Kim still asks about you too. You know she's now one of our key litigators?"

"I haven't spoken to Kim in a while," Jimmy admitted to his brother. "I used to talk to her quite a bit, actually, but then…well…"

Rebecca managed another small smile for Jimmy. "But then you fell for Cecelia and nothing else seemed to matter?" she asked from him and Jimmy shrugged.

"Something like that," he whispered back.

"We have all been there, Jimmy," Rebecca promised him. "As soon as you fall for someone they are all you think about or the only person you want to talk to. I think it is only when you end up in this predicament when you realise how much you need your family and friends."

Jimmy chuckled and pointed to Rebecca again, but with less enthusiasm than before. "You picked a good one there, Chuck," Jimmy said.

"Don't I know it," Chuck answered, smiling softly to his wife.

"Why don't you call Kim?" Rebecca said, softly urging Jimmy along. "She might want a catch up."

"She is busy on a case tonight," Chuck said. "I saw her in the office and I think she was about to burn the midnight oil."

Rebecca pursed her lips. "Well, a call can't hurt, can it?"

"Guess not," Jimmy replied and finished off his beer before moving to his feet and grabbing his jacket, shrugging into it and then placing his beer down on the coffee table. "Anyway, I'd best get going."

"Yes," Chuck said, sounding slightly too eager and moving to his feet as Rebecca let out a soft sigh, trying to stop herself from snapping at him. "Anyway, Jimmy, drive safe, okay? And try not to let Cecelia get you down. She clearly wasn't the one."

"Clearly," Jimmy echoed and left the house.

Chuck watched him go before heading back into the living room, completely unaware that he was about to embark in a heated row with Rebecca.

….

Driving back to his home/office, Jimmy called Kim but it went straight to voicemail, which was hardly surprising. He left her some long message about how it would be good to catch up and how he hoped she was okay and would call him later on. He finished his message and hung up, tossing his cell onto the passenger seat. It took him ten more minutes to get back to the parking lot. He parked his car and locked it, taking his briefcase and cell with him.

Coming into the salon, he walked through it slowly, wondering if he should have had that one beer or if his thoughts were the ones causing him his headache. Entering the backroom, he was shocked to find that his office was already unlocked. He pushed the door open and the light was already on.

Perched on his desk was Cecelia. Her hands were off the floor and her hands folded into her lap. She looked over to him as he placed his briefcase down and his cell on his desk. He looked to her and nodded his head.

"How did you get in?" Jimmy wondered of her.

"I snuck in," Cecelia said. "Your landlady, if you will, leaves spare keys laying around on the counter in the back. You might want to tell her about that."

"Nothing to rob anyway," Jimmy shrugged ruefully.

"I don't know," Cecelia said. "You've got a pretty old phone in here that could go for a few big bucks in a few years time. People might think it is retro."

Jimmy let his lips quirk slightly upwards at hearing her speak. Clearly this was her attempt at humour. He moved to take a seat on his sofa, his body only a few inches from hers due to the smallness of the office. Placing his hands on his thighs, Jimmy arched a brow and waited for her to speak.

"I'm sorry," Cecelia spoke to him. "I shouldn't have ran out on you the other night."

"I know why you did," Jimmy said. "You had told me what you wanted, Cecelia."

"I know," she said. "I think the only problem was that I didn't know how I felt."

Jimmy's ears seemed to prick upwards then. Nodding his head, he waited with patience for her to finish speaking.

"Jimmy, it took me a long time to move on from Martin. I gave everything up to be with him. I moved here for him…gave up a career…friends…all for him," Cecelia spoke. "I promised myself that I would never do that for another man. I would never toss everything aside simply to do what he wanted. I never resented him when we first moved here. His mother was ill and he wanted to look after her, but then…then when she passed he wouldn't move back. That was when I began to resent him, Jimmy," Cecelia admitted to him. "And then he had the affair and I had nothing left. I hated him. I still detest him. I blame him for ruining so much of my life, but I also blame myself for being so easily led. I should have stuck up for what I wanted."

Cecelia let out a deep breath before glancing to Jimmy. "Jumping to the whims of a man is not something I will ever do again."

"I didn't think you would do that for one second," Jimmy said, his voice honest and truthful.

"I did and it took me a long time to build myself back up to the point where I didn't go to bed crying every night over a man who would rather shack up with Housewife Barbie," Cecelia responded. "I don't want that again, Jimmy."

Jimmy felt himself frown slightly. "Do you think that I would do that to you?"

"Not in the slightest," she said with a firm shake of her head. "But in my mind I worry about everything…falling in love…I fell in love once before and after Martin I swore never to fall again, but here we are, Jimmy. Here we are and I'm doing it once more and it scares me."

"I'm not him, Ce," Jimmy responded.

"I know," she promised him. "But that doesn't make it any less scary for me, Jimmy. It terrifies me to an extent…because I know you are not him. Martin wasn't the cheating bastard I divorced when I first met him either. People change and I don't know what will happen six months from now…a year from now…you might get fed up of me. I might get fed up of you. One of us will end up heartbroken."

Jimmy shook his head. "You don't know that," he informed her. "Cecelia, you can't live in fear of being hurt. Are you not hurting now? Does the thought of not seeing me again not fill you with some slight anguish?"

Cecelia sighed. "Of course it does," she promised him.

"Then live for now," Jimmy urged her and moved to his feet, stepping in between her legs and moving his hands to her face. "Do what makes you happy now and forget worrying over things that may never happen."

"But-"

"-No buts," Jimmy told her. "Just accept this if you want it. Don't be scared, Cecilia. You think that Martin has lost if you close yourself off? It doesn't matter about him…all that matters is that you are happy."

"And I am," Cecelia said in a whisper. "Jimmy, I am happy when I am with you."

Jimmy didn't know if anyone had ever told him that before. He doubted his ex-wife had spoken to him with such adoration before. He let himself beam widely before meeting her lips with his, wondering if this newfound happiness could be kept or if he would do something to ruin it in the future.

…

A/N: Do let me know what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

Cecelia shrugged into one of Jimmy's shirts the following morning as he continued to sleep soundly on the sofa bed. She pulled it onto her body and buttoned it up before grabbing her pencil skirt. She tugged it onto her body and fastened it up before grabbing her heels. She slipped them onto her feet and looked to Jimmy's desk. She picked up a pen and a piece of paper, scribbling on it quickly and telling him that she would be back soon and was only going to pick up coffee from the drive thru diner.

Closing the door softly, Cecelia adjusted her bag on her shoulder and wandered out through the salon, grateful that it didn't open till late on the weekend. As she came to her car, she unlocked it and jumped in. The drive down only took her five minutes and she clambered out of her vehicle and went inside instead of using the drive thru. She hardly trusted those things after last time she had just managed to get her car round. She didn't know if it was because of their tight roads or her bad driving.

"Cecelia, isn't it?"

She had barely gotten out of her car when she heard someone speak to her. She ran a hand through her hair, hoping it didn't look too mussed up as she saw two people looking on at her. The man wore a neatly coiffed suit, his white hair neatly brushed back on his head. The other was a kindly looking woman, her body covered in a smart blue dress. Her hair was soft and hung gently down to her shoulders. She was smiling while the man looked rather stern.

"Yeah, it is," Cecelia said. "Sorry, do I know you?"

"Oh…yes," the woman said with a soft laugh. "I'm Rebecca. We met a long time ago at one of my concerts."

"You play the violin, right?" Cecelia asked, pointing to her gently for a second.

"Yes," she beamed and then Cecelia realised who she must be talking to.

"I am so sorry," Cecelia said. "I should have known. Of course, you're Jimmy's brother and sister in law. I am so sorry, I didn't mean to come across as rude."

Rebecca smiled widely and nodded her head once. She held onto her coffee cup in her hand while Chuck remained stood tall, one of his hands holding onto his coffee. It took a moment before Cecelia looked between them and wondered what they knew about her and Jimmy. Of course, she doubted they would know about what had transpired between her and Jimmy last night.

"It is perfectly alright," Rebecca said. "I just thought that it would be rude not to say hello."

"No…yes…of course…that's fine," Cecelia blabbered on before taking a deep breath and looking between them. "I know that Jimmy might have told you some things about us-"

"-You would do well to stay away from Jimmy," Chuck informed her, interrupting her from speaking as Cecelia looked slightly perplexed and Rebecca looked angry. "He has had his heart broken too many times and he does not need it done again. Besides, he is Jimmy. How long do you think it will be before he does something to anger you and make you leave him?"

"Excuse me?" Cecelia asked, wondering if this conversation could be happening. "Jimmy and I are fine."

"I can tell by the way you're wearing his shirt and have forgotten your bra."

"Chuck," Rebecca snapped and Cecelia almost felt slightly conscious, wondering if it was that obvious that she hadn't bothered with her bra as she folded her arms over herself.

"Jimmy is prone to making mistakes," Chuck continued. "He has tried to turn his life around, but he now lives in the back of a salon. He takes shortcuts. He gets things wrong. All of his career choices say that alongside his relationship choices. He will either mess this up or he will do something to make you leave."

"Chuck," Rebecca hissed.

"I am thinking of Jimmy," Chuck said. "You have already broken his heart. If you fix it and he falls for you more than he already has then it will just end up broken again."

"Jimmy is old enough to make his own decisions in life," Cecelia snapped back. "I never meant to hurt him and I have no intention of hurting him again. We are fine…and…what you said about him…yes, Jimmy might have a past. He might have a record. He might have done things he regrets, but he is not the person you think he is."

"Do you think that you know Jimmy?" Chuck asked from her, sipping on his drink. "No one knows Jimmy better than I do."

"Perhaps so," Cecelia said, "but I am not leaving Jimmy alone. I am not staying away from him out of fear of one of us getting hurt. I did that before and it didn't work out for us. If we are happy as we are then why is that not enough?"

Chuck shrugged. "Because I know Jimmy."

"I think that is enough," Rebecca said with a shake of her head. "Cecelia, it was lovely to meet you."

"Likewise," Cecelia said, managing a smile for Rebecca before looking to Chuck. "Jimmy loves you. He adores you. He would be crushed if he knew what you have just said."

She didn't give Chuck a chance to respond. Instead she spun on her heel and walked away and into the coffee shop, her eyes wide and wet as she wondered what Jimmy would say if he knew what had just happened. She could just imagine his face and that was enough to make her keep quiet.

…

Returning to the salon, she saw Jimmy was already sat up on the sofa bed with his notebook in his lap. He was making notes, no doubt on a case he had picked up from court. Cecelia closed the door and slipped her heels from her feet as she locked it and glanced to Jimmy.

"Working on a weekend?" she asked of him.

"The law never sleeps," he informed her.

She rolled her eyes. "What a cliché," she responded. "Anyway, I have a variety of pastries, plus coffee and maybe I added in a couple of donuts."

Jimmy moved from the bed, placing his notebook and pen down before he picked up a coffee and Cecelia moved to perch on the edge of the desk, picking up another coffee and then opening the bag of pastries. She pulled one out and Jimmy leant across the desk, picking up his own donut and taking a bite from it.

"Is this what dating you is going to be like every morning?" Jimmy asked from her. "This donut is divine."

"Probably not," Cecelia said as he took another bite. "Some mornings I might want morning sex instead."

She heard him almost choke on his donut as soon as she said it and she laughed softly.

"Of course, if that donut is better then I could always reconsider," she responded.

"I can compromise," he said to her.

"Good to know," Cecelia said to him, putting her coffee back down and dropping the rest of her pastry into the bag. She moved off the desk and stood in front of Jimmy, stretching on her toes and kissing him slowly as he placed his own food and drink down. He moved his hands to her hips, tugging her shirt from her skirt before he pulled back and noticed what she was wearing.

"That's my shirt," he said to her.

"It is," she agreed.

"So you're going out in my things now?" he asked from her and she shrugged.

"Only your shirt," she said to him. "The skirt is mine…plus I might not have bothered with underwear."

"Really?" he asked back to her and she kissed him.

He pulled back after a second and turned her around so her back was pressed against his front as she laughed softly, trapped between him and the desk as she turned her head over her shoulder to look back to him.

"What are you doing?" she asked of him as she felt his hands tugging at the bottom of her skirt, pushing it up her thighs as his fingers trailed along her skin.

"Examining the situation," he answered nonchalantly as she laughed loudly and revelled in the moment.

…

Jimmy kept hold of Cecelia's hand as they walked through the supermarket. His free hand held onto the shopping basket as Cecelia picked things up and threw them into it. She had told Jimmy that they were going to spend the night at her place where there was a stove and a microwave, alongside a fridge that actually chilled her wine.

Spinning on her heel, she walked backwards down the aisle as she kept hold of his hand as their arms stretched between them and she looked to him.

"Should we get dessert?" she wondered from him.

"You mean food?" he asked and Cecelia rolled her eyes.

"Get your mind clean," she urged from him, spinning back so that she was walking by his side and they turned down the freezer aisle. "I'm serious. Do we need dessert or will the lasagne be filling enough?"

"You can always save the dessert for later?" Jimmy said.

"Fair point," Cecelia said. "Anyway, I was thinking that we should go out tomorrow instead of just sitting around the apartment."

"What were you thinking?" Jimmy asked from her.

"Movies…restaurant…something like that," she said to him.

"Sounds good," Jimmy responded, wondering if this was how normal people dated. He hadn't done it before. His ex-wife hadn't exactly been normal, just like him. But things with Cecelia were different. Well, they certainly felt different anyway.

…

Cecelia had no idea how she found herself in this position. She was determined that they spend at least one normal day together, but somehow she had agreed to go with Jimmy for coffee to meet Rebecca. She mentioned that she had seen Rebecca the previous day with Chuck. Jimmy wondered why she hadn't mentioned it until that evening, but he didn't dwell on it.

As they entered the coffee shop, Jimmy kept hold of Cecelia's hand and led her to a booth. Rebecca was already sat down with a coffee and she had two more cups in front of her for Jimmy and Cecelia. Sliding into the booth first, Cecelia managed a soft smile for Rebecca as Jimmy slid in next to her, his arm going over the back of the seat.

"Hi Rebecca," Jimmy said. "What's up?"

Rebecca let out a deep breath. "I take it that he hasn't told you?" she asked of him.

"Chuck?" Jimmy guessed.

"Yes," Rebecca said. "I suspected he might not have and that is why I wanted to come here and tell you myself. I am fond of you, Jimmy. We have known each other a while now and I didn't want to go without saying goodbye. Besides, after what happened yesterday I felt as though I should apologise for him."

Jimmy's brows furrowed as he noted Cecelia look down for a moment and chew on her bottom lip.

"What happened yesterday?" Jimmy wondered from the two women.

"Nothing," Cecelia said with haste, shaking her head back and forth as Rebecca looked to her. "Your brother just seemed off with me. I think it was because I might have…well…said that I didn't want a relationship with you."

"Just ignore Chuck," Jimmy shrugged and Rebecca was about to correct her, but she said nothing, choosing to keep silent and wonder why Cecelia had kept that hidden. "But what is going on, Rebecca?"

"I've…we…Jimmy, it has been like this for a while. We argue constantly and Chuck just…things just aren't good between us," Rebecca admitted. "I'm going away for a while. I think we need some time apart from each other."

"What?" Jimmy snapped back. "But you guys seemed so happy."

Rebecca let her lips quirk for a moment. "Things can seem anything, Jimmy," she told him. "But we haven't been the same for a long time. I just need sometime apart from him."

"Do you think you can work it out?" Jimmy continued to wonder. "And why did Chuck not tell me this?"

"I don't know is the answer to both of those," Rebecca said and slurped on her coffee. "You will have to talk to Chuck, but I need to go, Jimmy. I'm going to stay with a friend for a little while in NY. I have a flight booked for three hours from now. I need to get to the airport."

"Of course," Jimmy said to her. "Just…stay in touch, alright? I hope things work out."

Rebecca smiled and nodded, slipping from the booth and grabbing her bag. She looked down to him and chewed down on her lip for a second.

"Thanks, Jimmy," she said. "You're…you're a good guy, alright. And I hope that you two can be very happy, whatever happens. You look good together."

"Thanks, Rebecca," Jimmy said and watched her leave, knowing that he would have to go and see his brother sooner rather than later.

…

A/N: Do let me know what you think!


	9. Chapter 9

Cecelia had urged Jimmy to go and call Chuck, telling him that she would give him some space to make the conversation. She had gone outside and found Rebecca by the trunk of her car. She was clearly searching for something and put it into her pocket before shutting the trunk. She noticed Cecelia stood outside, her arms folded over her chest as she bit down on her lip and looked around. She couldn't help herself from going to speak to her, heading over in her direction.

"You didn't tell him about Chuck, did you?" Rebecca said, not bothering with pleasantries considering she had just seen her. A small smile was on Rebecca's face. It was almost as though she was too kind for her.

"I couldn't tell him," Cecelia said with a shrug of her shoulders. "He loves Chuck and if he found out what he had said then…well…you know Jimmy. He is brash and he's defended me before, but that was against my ex-husband. I don't want him to have to defend me against his own brother."

"Chuck was out of order," Rebecca said with a shake of her head. "What he said to you the other morning was wrong. You didn't deserve that."

"I know that he is looking out for his brother, but I really don't want to hurt Jimmy. I do care for him."

"You don't need to defend your actions to me," Rebecca said to her. "I can see that you care about him. I know that Jimmy can be…well…as you said, brash, but he has good intentions, especially when it comes to you."

"I'm not going to hurt him," Cecelia whispered. "I'm going to just forget Chuck ever said anything. If he says anything to Jimmy about me then that is prerogative, but I am not going to start causing trouble when there is no need."

"That's really kind of you," Rebecca said. "I only hope that Chuck doesn't throw it in your face."

Cecelia shrugged. "He can do what he likes. I'm not entirely bothered."

…

Cecelia had told Jimmy that she would wait in the car while he went to speak with Chuck. She had squeezed his hand and told him that everything would be fine. Leaving the car, Jimmy made his way up the path to his brother's house, letting himself in. He looked around, but there was no sign of his brother. It took him a few minutes before he found him in the living room, clutching onto a small glass of scotch.

He turned to see Jimmy approaching before groaning inwardly and throwing his head back. "What do you want, Jimmy?"

"You weren't answering my calls," Jimmy said with a shrug and sat down on the sofa opposite his brother. "Rebecca was the one who told me. Chuck, what happened?"

Chuck chuckled and sipped on his scotch, holding the tumbler in his hands and swirling the liquid around. He said nothing for a few moments before he shifted in his seat and looked to Jimmy.

"No couple is perfect, Jimmy," he declared. "We've been arguing. We're constantly arguing. It didn't work out."

"But every couple has arguments, Chuck," Jimmy said.

"Do they?" Chuck wondered. "Do they argue about the simplest things? I doubt it. They don't argue about what we argue about. It wasn't working and it is as simple as that."

"But don't you want to fight for her?" Jimmy wondered. "You love her."

Chuck did laugh then, tossing his head back as Jimmy's brows arched upwards. Chuck looked to him then, downing the rest of his drink and then slamming his glass onto the coffee table. He moved to his feet and looked down to him, pointing at him.

"What do you know about love?" Chuck demanded from him. "Your ex-wife cheated on you because you were an immature little boy and now you're dating the local journalist who will break your heart eventually."

"Chuck, don't turn this onto me," Jimmy said.

Chuck rolled his eyes. "Well you should know, Jimmy," Chuck said. "Everything ends in heartbreak sooner or later. She messed you around once before. She will do it again. I basically told her the same thing this morning."

Jimmy frowned and leaned forwards. "What? Cecelia said you were off with her yesterday."

"Off with her?" Chuck asked. "I saw through her. I still can see through her. She's using you to get over her ex-husband. Do you think she will stick around, Jimmy? She'll move on. She only moved here because of her husband. Do you think she won't move on and break your heart?"

Jimmy moved to his feet and shook his head. "I'm not here about me. I'm here for you, Chuck. This is nothing to do with Cecelia."

"But don't you see?" Chuck snapped at his brother. "Sooner or later they all leave. Cecelia…Rebecca…"

"Stop it," Jimmy snapped at his brother. "Look, if you love Rebecca then you should fight for her. You should tell her that you want to make it work. Why is that so difficult for you to do, Chuck? Why can't you just admit that you might be in the wrong for once?"

"Because I'm not," Chuck snapped. "No one is in the wrong and I don't need you here coming to…what? Lecture me? Comfort me?"

Jimmy shook his head. "I'm your brother, Chuck. I just want to be here for you."

"I'm fine," Chuck said and began to move into the kitchen.

Moving to his feet, Jimmy followed him in that direction, arms folded over his chest as he went. It took him a few moments before he inhaled a sharp breath and considered leaving. He considered whether or not it was worth it. Was it worth staying with Chuck if all he was going to get was constant abuse? He was beginning to doubt it.

"Chuck, it's alright not to be fine," he assured him. "I wasn't fine when I went through my divorce."

Chuck snorted. "You never even had a real marriage, Jimmy," he said. "And now you think you're happy because you're more in love with Cecelia than she is with you…then again…she certainly doesn't care what people think judging by her appearance."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well," Chuck shrugged, "she isn't exactly the epitome of class, Jimmy. She turned up to the coffee shop with no underwear and wearing your clothes."

Jimmy shrugged his shoulders then. "What has that got to do with anything?" he demanded. "Chuck, she has done nothing to deserve this treatment. If you're angry because of what is going on with Rebecca then fine, be angry, but don't start going in on Cecelia and me."

Chuck said nothing in response. He remained silent, head lowered and mind clearly elsewhere as Jimmy did his best not to let his anger take hold of him. He was the one telling Chuck to be calm so he should try to follow the same advice.

"I just don't want you to be hurt again, Jimmy," Chuck sighed. "Rebecca leaving me…I…I just don't want your heart to be broken. It isn't nice, Jimmy."

"I know," Jimmy said to him. "But what's the point in living in fear, Chuck? If you love someone then you should let them know. You should go after Rebecca."

Chuck poured himself another drink as he shook his head. "She made her decision."

…

The ride back to Jimmy's office was quiet. Cecelia had agreed to drive him back and he had asked her to come in. It was only when they were in the cramped space did he speak in a low voice, sitting down on the edge of his desk as she perched on the sofa.

"Why didn't you tell me the truth?" Jimmy asked of her.

"The truth?" she repeated and Jimmy nodded.

"Yeah, about what Chuck said," Jimmy said. "He wasn't just off with you at the coffee shop, Cecelia. By the sounds of it he was downright rude."

Cecelia looked away and shrugged, chewing down on her bottom lip as Jimmy continued to stare at her, keeping silent and waiting for an answer to leave her lips. It took a few moments before she turned back to look to him, hands dropping to her lap as she sighed.

"Because I didn't want to cause trouble," Cecelia said honestly. "I know what you are like, Jimmy. If you found out what he had said then you would have been pissed. I've seen you defend me before, but I didn't want you to defend me to your brother. I don't want you to fight because of some offhanded comments."

"He should never have said those things," Jimmy said with a firm shake of his head.

"Well, he did," Cecelia shrugged to him. "He said it and I moved on."

"I tried to help him," Jimmy said. "I always try to help him, but he never bothers to accept it. He just throws it back in my face and turns it around on me. It's like he doesn't want me to be happy."

"And are you?" Cecelia wondered.

"Am I what?" Jimmy asked her back.

"Are you happy?" she pushed him.

Jimmy nodded his head. "I'm happy when I'm with you."

"Then don't let your brother bother you," she said and moved to her feet. "I'm happy and you're happy. We might not be happy in…what…a few months time…or even five years time…but you're right in what you said to me before. There is no point being scared."

Jimmy continued to watch her for a few moments before seeing her run a hand down his arm.

"I'll leave you to do work for the evening," she said in a soft voice. "I know you have court in the morning."

Jimmy caught hold of her arm before she could move any further. Looking into her wide eyes, he moved his free hand to her cheek before bringing his lips to hers. He closed his eyes as he felt her hand press against his chest lightly, her body close to his as she did her best to remain upright as she leant against him. Jimmy moved his hand from her wrist to wrap his arm around her waist and pull her to him. He leant back after a second, looking her in the eye.

"Just stay," he urged from her.

"I thought you had work?"

"I do, but that doesn't mean you have to go," Jimmy said.

Cecelia nodded her head. "Alright."

She gave him a final peck before heading to the sofa. She sat down and picked up one of the books she had left lying around while Jimmy sat at his desk. He focused on his work for a few hours before noticing Cecelia pull out the sofa bed. She perched back down on it, fluffing the pillows up as she went back to reading. Jimmy grabbed a file and moved to the sofa bed, flopping down next to her as she remained silent, acutely aware of a small smile on her face.

She didn't know how long it was before she felt Jimmy move a hand to her bare thigh where her dress had rode up, his thumb tracing circles on her skin as she tried to focus on her book. She felt his hand move further up her thigh and she laughed then, grabbing his wrist.

"That's not working," she said in a mock stern voice.

"Yeah, but I think it's a lot more enjoyable," Jimmy said and Cecelia looked to him before leaning in to kiss him once more.

"For once, you're probably right," she said with a smirk as she moved back slightly and wondered just how long they were going to stay in the little bubble they were currently living in.


	10. Chapter 10

Cecilia sighed softly as she moved towards Jimmy's office, hands on her hips as her bag sat on her shoulder. She moved slowly through the empty nail bar, locking the door behind her after Jimmy had called her to tell her that he would leave the main door open for her. She grabbed hold of a magazine as she passed by the waiting area, flipping through the articles as she moved to the back room and through to Jimmy's office, finding him sat there with his notes in front of him.

"My wife slept with my nephew…and now she is pregnant," Cecilia said as she read the title of an article to Jimmy and held it up to show him as he looked over to her, a smirk on his face as he saw her toss the magazine to the side on his desk. "How do people read that stuff? Honestly, sometimes I think our lives are messed up and then I get perspective."

"Our lives?" Jimmy checked with her and she perched on the front of his desk as she looked down to him and moved a hand to his shoulder.

"You're working in a nail bar trying to be a lawyer after defecating through someone's sunroof," she reminded him and Jimmy rolled his eyes as he saw her smile at him. He moved to stand slightly and kissed her chastely.

"I can always rely on you to bring me back down to earth," he murmured and she continued to beam at him as he went back to sit down, her hand sliding down his chest as he resumed his seat. "So how was your day?"

"Uneventful," she commented, jumping down from his desk and tossing her bag on the floor and her coat on the rack. She moved to the sofa, pulling her shoes from her feet as she rubbed the soles of them. "All we had today in court was a theft case and a public indecency charge. It was super boring."

"Sounds it," Jimmy said.

"What you working on anyway?" Cecilia wondered from him. "I had thought that you might be in court today."

"I had nothing on," Jimmy said to her. "Although I did get a call and I will be back in tomorrow. It was a hit and run, but it seems pretty straightforward."

"Well, I will see you tomorrow then," Cecilia said. "So can we go out for dinner soon or do you have a lot of work left to get on with?"

"I am done," Jimmy told her, dropping his pen onto the pad and he moved to his feet. He adjusted his tie and reached for his suit jacket, shrugging into it while Cecilia reached for her shoes again, slipping them onto her feet. "Where did you want to eat?"

"I thought that we could go back to mine tonight," Cecilia said. "Grab a pizza and veg out on the sofa?"

"Sounds ideal," Jimmy said. "So do you want to drive or shall I?"

"I'll drive considering we are both in court tomorrow," she said. "Anyway, I heard something interesting about HHM today."

"And you didn't tell me as soon as you walked in?" Jimmy asked from her as he grabbed his wallet and tucked it into his pocket. He picked up Cecilia's coat and held it up for her, letting her shrug back into it, pulling her hair from the collar as it settled on her shoulders.

"Good things come to those who wait," she said with a nonchalant wave of her hand. "Anyway, I would have thought that you would have heard considering it is about your brother."

Jimmy chuckled at that as he handed her the bag she had placed on the floor. She placed it into the hook of her arm and began moving from the office, waiting for Jimmy as he locked up.

"Chuck and I aren't exactly on speaking terms," Jimmy informed Cecilia. "After our last argument we haven't spoken since. What he said about you was bang out of order and I am tired of him always looking down and belittling me."

"Jimmy, I don't want you to fall out with him over me," Cecilia said and he shrugged.

"I don't care," he said to her. "So come on, what has Chuck done?"

"He hasn't been in to work since Rebecca left," she said to him. "He's missing court cases and negotiations galore. Apparently Hamlin is getting really annoyed and they are haemorrhaging money."

Jimmy sighed as he placed his keys into his pocket and took hold of Cecilia's hand as they left the salon together. "He hasn't left the house?"

"Well, not that he hasn't left the house, but he hasn't been in to work," Cecilia said. "I bumped into a third year associate in court who told me this. Anyway, maybe you should reach out, Jimmy?"

They came to the main door and Cecilia dropped his hand as he locked the main door with the other key and then tucked that away. He turned to look to Cecilia as she stood there, watching him with intrigue. She bit down on her bottom lip as Jimmy shrugged again and looked to the sky, uncertain of what was going through his mind. He had no idea what it was he wanted to do about his brother.

"I don't know," Jimmy said to her. "Why do I have to be the one to reach out? He was the one who laid into me."

"Because he is still your brother," Cecilia said. "Maybe it might be best to just be the bigger person?"

"Not right now," Jimmy grunted and Cecilia began to walk towards the car. She unlocked it and Jimmy climbed into the passenger's side. As Cecilia tossed her bag onto the backseat, he looked to her. She settled down, holding onto the wheel with one hand while using the other to turn the key in the ignition.

"How do you do it?" Jimmy asked her.

"Do what?" she asked him, looking over her shoulder as she reversed out the parking bay.

"How do you have the ability to want to make things right…to want to be the bigger person?" he asked her.

"I don't do that all of the time," she scoffed. "But I just think that your brother needs you and he is acting like a martyr and denying it."

"But he is being an asshole."

"Families can be," Cecilia shrugged. "Listen, Jimmy, I care about you and I know you love your brother. Wouldn't you feel better trying to put things right?"

"Maybe," Jimmy mumbled as she set off down the road. "But you…you care about me setting things right. No one has really cared about me like that."

Cecilia smiled sadly at hearing that, glancing over to Jimmy as she put the headlights on. "Same," she said. "I mean, my ex never cared in the slightest about me leaving my family and moving out here…or them being upset that I didn't go home at Christmas because he wanted me to…I mean, I made amends, but it still sucks."

"It's different," Jimmy informed her, "but not wholly unpleasant."

"Glad to hear it," she laughed gently. "Anyway, you don't need to make a decision tonight about what to do. I just think that it might not be the worst idea you have had."

"I've had a lot of them."

"Oh, I know," Cecilia said jokingly. "I think that's why we work perfectly together."

….

Jimmy didn't know what he was doing as he stood in the supermarket and looked at the bouquets of flowers in front of him. Did Cecilia like flowers? Had he ever noticed any flowers in her apartment before? Would she appreciate it? Were they even at the stage where he could buy her flowers? Jimmy placed his hands on his hips for a second and bit down on his lip before he heard a familiar voice.

"Jimmy?"

Turning his head over his shoulder at the sound of her voice, Jimmy beamed widely at the sight of her, extending his arms as she approached him pushing a trolley in front of her.

"Kim," he greeted her and she smiled back to him.

"Long time no see," she said to him. "And in the flower aisle at that."

Jimmy chuckled and looked back to the bouquet. "Yeah," he said. "Gotta admit that I am slightly out of my depth. Anyway, how are things going at HHM? Still keeping busy?"

"You know," Kim shrugged, "long hours and good pay, but you can't enjoy it because you're always working. I love it though. I love the job. Funny to think that we both ranked up compared to where we were a few years ago."

"Funny," Jimmy echoed back to her.

"So are you still working defence cases for the court?"

"I am," Jimmy confirmed. "Alongside looking for other clients to make ends meet, but I like my job. I mean, I love being a lawyer. Who wouldn't, right?"

Kim could almost sense the lie rolling from his tongue. She had heard rumours that he was working out the back of a shop. She also knew that he was struggling to make ends meet as a one man public defender. But she hadn't known how to talk to him and see if he was alright. Ever since HHM said that he had no chance of working for them, Kim had felt for the man. She had been annoyed with HHM to begin with for not giving him a chance.

"I guess so," she said, rocking back and forth on her heels. "So who are the flowers for?" she asked, pointing to the bouquets with her chin.

"Oh," Jimmy said. "Well, I mean, I am seeing someone…she…well…I don't know what we are. We haven't put a label on it, but I thought it might be nice to buy flowers, but then I don't even know if she likes flowers."

"Well, what does she like?"

"Good takeout…wine…I just thought that flowers might be different."

"Jimmy, I am sure she will appreciate the thought," Kim said. "I heard a rumour that you had been seeing Cecilia Morris. Apparently Runow saw the two of you looking cosy in the courthouse."

Jimmy coughed into his fist, hoping that they hadn't actually witnessed the entire scene of Cecilia and him fooling around near the fire escape. He tried not to smirk at the memory, but instead just nodded.

"Yeah," he said, popping his lips. "Well, we're just together, nothing like boyfriend or girlfriend."

"You sound disappointed by that," Kim observed.

"We're taking it slow," Jimmy admitted. "But she is a great gal. I really like her."

"Well, I am glad to hear you have moved on," Kim said with a soft smile. "I mean it, Jimmy, you deserve some happiness after everything that went down at HHM."

"Thanks, Kim," he responded with a small smile. "Anyway, would you go white or purple?" he asked, motioning to the flower.

"Purple," she responded. "White always reminds me of funeral flowers."

Grabbing the bouquet, Jimmy picked the flowers us. "Purple it is," he said. "I'll let you get back to your shopping. Stay in touch, Kim."

"You too, Jimmy."

…

Cecilia opened the door to find a fresh bunch of flowers in her face. She felt herself smile despite herself and Jimmy peeked his head around the purple bunch of flowers.

"Surprise," he said.

"They are lovely," Cecilia said. "What is the occasion?"

"Can I not just buy my really good friend slash romantic interest flowers?" Jimmy asked as he handed them to her and she took hold of the stems, moving into the kitchen as Jimmy closed the door behind him and followed her.

"You can," Cecilia said. "That's really thoughtful of you, Jimmy."

"Well, they don't call me a romance guru for nothing."

Cecilia scoffed as she reached for a vase from her cabinet. "I didn't think they called you that anyway."

"Before I moved here they did," Jimmy said and Cecilia laughed as she finished adjusting the flowers and adding water to them. She placed them at the end of her worktop and moved towards him, her hands running down his shoulders to hold onto his upper arms.

"You're such a dork," she commented and Jimmy chuckled, bending down to kiss her.

"Maybe so," Jimmy admitted to her. "But I guess those flowers…well…I want them to say something."

"And what is that?"

"That I like you," Jimmy said to her. "I like you a lot, Cecilia."

Cecilia forced her smile to remain on her face. She tried to remain neutral, but she was struggling. It took her a few more moments before she dared to move her arms around his waist. She remained silent and Jimmy sighed as he wrapped his arms around her then. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek on the top of her head. Maybe he had spoken too soon? Perhaps he was rushing into things like he usually did? He bit down on his lip before Cecilia pulled back and rested a hand on his chest.

"Come on," she said to him. "I made us a homemade burger with fries."

"Sounds delicious," he said as she turned her back to him and busied herself with the oven, her own eyes shutting for a moment as she longed to be able to say the words Jimmy seemed to want from her. The only issue was that she couldn't do it…not yet, anyway.

….

A/N: Do let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

There were times when Jimmy would lay awake at night and wonder exactly what Cecilia was thinking. He would lay with his hands behind his head, eyes to the ceiling as he heard her breathing softly next to him, her duvet held up to her chin and one hand stuffed under her pillow. Occasionally, he would let his head loll to the side and watch the back of her head. Her hair was always unkempt when she slept, a consequence of rolling from side to side. It would be the same most nights. They would sometimes talk before going to sleep. Sometimes they would simply just have sex.

But one thing would remain constant. Cecilia would kiss him on the cheek before turning the light out. He would move his arm around her waist, holding onto her as she ran a thumb up and down his knuckles, her hands in his. Eventually, she would begin to drift off and start shifting, moving and rolling around. That was enough to make Jimmy let go of her hand, feeling a sudden coldness as he went onto his back.

That was how he felt in his relationship with her. He often felt coldness. Cecilia was always polite. She was always willing to talk to him and she would kiss him and hold him. But there were times when he wanted more. He wanted to know how she felt about him. He wanted to know if she thought their relationship was developing. He knew that she was scared. She had been married and divorced, just like him, but she seemed much more hurt than Jimmy could ever have been. Her ex had moved on, but Jimmy sometimes doubted that she could do the same. She wanted to move on and Jimmy saw that, but he just didn't think she knew how to move on.

Laying awake that Friday evening, Jimmy wondered if he should talk to her about it. Would he even get a straight answer? He wanted this to work. Everything else in his life was shit. His job was crap. He barely had a cent to his name. He lived in a squalid office. He had nothing good in his life that made him happy, except her. She was the only thing that brought him joy at that moment in time. Even his own brother wasn't talking to him.

Perhaps it was better not talking about it with her. Perhaps bottling up his feelings and pretending everything was how he wanted it to be was better. Sometimes Jimmy found lying to be better than knowing the truth.

….

"You know that I'm not going to stop," Cecilia said as they ate pancakes on the Saturday morning.

Dressed in a polo shirt with dark pants, Jimmy did his best not to get maple syrup down the front of his top. Cecilia wore a long, flowing dark dress, a denim jacket on her shoulders and her hair hanging loose. She took a sip of her cup of herbal tea as she looked at Jimmy over the rim of the cup, brow arched on her forehead.

Jimmy rolled his eyes at hearing her. "I know," he commented.

"Yet you still won't listen to me," she said, placing her cup down and taking a bite of her pancake. "He is your brother, Jimmy. You should go and see him."

"He should apologise," Jimmy responded.

"I can agree with that," Cecilia said, chewing another mouthful of the pancake. "What he said was bang out of order and I always thought that he had a superiority complex, but you are still family. You know that you should go and see him. I know that you know that."

"I guess," Jimmy mumbled.

"No guessing about it," she responded with a nonchalant shrug. "If you go there and he is still an ass about things then at least you can say you tried. Surely it is better than sitting and moping around, wondering what he is doing."

"It is," Jimmy confirmed with her.

"Then go," she urged him, her voice gentle as she smiled encouragingly. "Go and see him this afternoon and when you are done then come to mine and I will cook us a chilli tonight."

"You're not going to drop this, are you?"

"You might be a lawyer," she said to him, "but I am much better at hassling than you."

Jimmy chuckled and nodded. "I guess you are."

….

Walking into his brother's house, Jimmy looked around, wondering why it was so dark. All the curtains were shut and the grass was overgrown. There were dishes stacking up on the worktop surface and laundry seeming to be in a giant tub.

"Chuck?" Jimmy called his brother's name hesitantly, moving further into the house and placing his key into his pocket. "Hey, Chuck?"

"Jimmy."

Coming to the living room, Chuck saw his brother sat on the sofa with a newspaper open on the coffee table in front of him. He was dressed in his pyjamas with a dressing gown over him. Looking to Jimmy, Chuck's brows furrowed together as his little brother stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"What are you doing here?" Chuck wondered from him.

"People said that you hadn't been at work," Jimmy said. "Why is it so dark in here? You should turn the light on and open the curtains."

"No," Chuck said quickly as Jimmy walked to the window. He paused, arm outstretched and ready to let in the light. Looking to Chuck, he arched a brow as his brother sat back in his seat. "I've had a migraine for a few days. I don't want to risk it coming back."

"Okay," Jimmy said, not entirely buying his story as he went to sit on the sofa across from his brother. Shrugging, he looked to the man who was usually so well presented and sharp. This looked nothing like that man. "So what is going on, Chuck?"

"I've just been ill," Chuck shrugged. "Rebecca walking out took its toll on me. I haven't felt myself for a while and I think this is just the result. I will be fine eventually. I'll be back to my normal self."

"Huh," Jimmy said, not entirely convinced. "So this is all to do with Rebecca leaving?"

"My wife walked out on me, Jimmy," Chuck deadpanned, "I'm inclined not to take that very well. If I recall correctly you took to defecating through someone's sunroof when your marriage broke down so I don't think you are in any position to pass judgment."

Jimmy groaned and ran his hands down his face, leaning back and looking to the ceiling. "This is about you, Chuck," Jimmy said, arms outstretched in front of him as he emphasised that. "This is not about me. This is about you and how you are coping. Why do you have to turn it round all of the time?"

"Because I am coping just well," Chuck said and Jimmy scoffed.

"Looks like it," he muttered. "You know she told me to come here."

"Cecilia?"

"Yeah, Ce," Jimmy said. "She said that I would feel better if I came and checked on you, but you haven't even bothered to offer me an apology and when I do try and talk to you it just ends up in your making me remember how worthless I am."

Chuck frowned and shrugged. "What am I supposed to apologise for?"

Jimmy's lips fell into a straight line. "You're not serious?" he checked with his brother, but the vacant look on Chuck's face told Jimmy that he was. "About the argument we had the other week…the one when I came to talk to you…the last time we spoke."

Chuck shrugged again. "I told you the truth, Jimmy," he said. "She will move on eventually. She is using you to get over her ex. We both know it. Deep down I know that you know that. There is some semblance of doubt inside of you."

"Perhaps there is," Jimmy admitted, "perhaps we all doubt our relationships, but we try to make them work. I am trying to make what I have with Cecilia work, but you never even offered me any encouragement…never even told me that you wanted me to be happy."

"Because I don't think that there is a chance of you finding happiness with her," Chuck said honestly.

"You see?" Jimmy snapped at him. "You're not even willing to try and be happy for me or encourage me…I just…it's draining, Chuck. You don't need to be in lawyer mode all the time. You don't need to think pragmatically about everything. Sometimes I just want you to be my brother."

Chuck rolled his eyes. "I have always been a brother to you," he snapped. "Who was it who bailed you out when you got in trouble? Who was it who helped you get a job at HHM? Who will you run to when Cecilia Morris breaks your heart? Me, Jimmy. It is always me."

"I'm not denying you have always been there when I have needed you, Chuck," Jimmy said to him. "It just feels like you're not there when I want you to be there."

Chuck snorted. "That makes no sense," he said. "Anyway, this conversation is giving me a headache. I would appreciate it if you left now, Jimmy."

"Chuck-"

"-Please," Chuck interrupted. "I don't have the energy to do this for much longer."

Nodding once, Jimmy moved to his feet and looked down to his brother. "I'll see you around, Chuck."

Chuck didn't say anything as Jimmy stalked from his house, leaving his brother to stew in his own thoughts and company.

….

"How did it go?" Cecilia asked, eagerly handing Jimmy a glass of wine.

"You know when you said I would feel better for going?" Jimmy checked with her. "Well that was a big lie."

"Shit," Cecilia whispered as she sat on the sofa and Jimmy followed her.

"Can say that again," he responded, taking a sip of his wine. "We had another heated discussion. He turned it back onto me…said how he wasn't going to take advice from some screw up like me and continued to tell me how…well…eventually…I'd end up going back to him when you break my heart."

Cecilia said nothing then, taking a sip of her wine. Looking at her, Jimmy's gaze almost seemed pleading as she looked away. He placed his wine glass down on the table as she rested hers on her bent knee.

"I just want to know if he is right," Jimmy admitted in a soft voice and Cecilia looked to her.

"Jimmy," she sighed, "we've been over this. We both don't know what is going to happen in the future. What did you tell me? You can't live in fear of being hurt. I'd never intentionally hurt you, Jimmy, but I can't promise you the happy ever after with the white picket fence and three bonny children."

"I don't want that," Jimmy told her.

"Then what do you want?"

"Just to know the truth," Jimmy urged from her. "Cecilia, sometimes I look at you and I don't know what you're thinking. I'm the kind of guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. I don't bottle things up…but when I talk to you…or ask how you feel…it's like you go vacant. It's like you can't say certain things to me or what you do say then you only say to appease me."

"No," Cecilia said. "Jimmy, I don't mean to."

"I know that you might not mean to," Jimmy promised her, "but just talk to me. Just tell me what is going on."

"I care for you," Cecilia admitted to him. "The best part of my day is knowing that I get to wake up next to you and then I count down the hours until I see you again at work. I…I like spending time with you…and when you…when you do silly things, like hold doors open for me…massage my shoulders while I cook…make sure I have a cup of tea as I rush to get ready for work…those little things make me feel so loved and I don't think I even had that with Martin and it is new to me, Jimmy. It is new having someone so thoughtful and sometimes I don't know to react because I think I'll eventually fuck it up again and you'll go."

Jimmy listened to her intently as she placed her wine glass next to his. She shrugged and closed her eyes before bowing her head.

"And it is easier for me to deny I feel anything because if I deny it and you do go, then it won't hurt as much," she whispered. "Because I'm not good enough for you, Jimmy. I'm really not."

"Are you joking?" Jimmy demanded from her, moving to draw her gaze to his, his hand holding her cheek as his other hand cupped the back of her neck. "Cecilia, you are too good for me. You are far too good for me."

"Don't be silly."

"Have you seen yourself?" Jimmy demanded again. "You are stunning, Cecilia. You are smart…you make me laugh like no one else has…you're the best thing in my life right now. You're the only one I want to see and be with…all I think about is you."

"Seriously?"

"Yes," Jimmy said, tossing his head back. "I've said that plenty of times."

"I know," she admitted. "And I'm sorry if I pushed you away. I didn't mean to."

"Just…we both need to be open, okay?" Jimmy asked her. "Because I am serious about making this work."

"So am I," she whispered to him and he genuinely smiled before leaning in to kiss her.

"Then let's do this."

….

A/N: Do let me know what you think!


End file.
